Question:
I'm a sixteen year old student that attends high school. I'm very strong on religion and my morals. My plan for my future was to get married as a virgin not because of church but because of a choice. All that failed because of my best friends brother. I was raped when i was 15. I thought my whole life was over. I had a crush on this guy for years so i guess he assumed that he could do what he did. i never told my mother or for that matter anyone, i was scared. A few weeks later my friend tells me that her brother had the sex talk with her and said he told her that he had HERPES. That's when I became really scared. I was wasn't only scared, I was angry, upset, and mad. I was wonder why a 21 year old would want to give a child an STD or how anyone could pass on knowing that they had it. I started to notice little bumps on my vagina almost looking like whiteheads or zits and a itching, and burning sinsation. I hadn't really thought about it because it hurt me to think about it. So i went on with my life as if there was nothing wrong with me. I started looking up information on line about herpes and the signs of herpes and i had all of the signs but still never went to get tested. My mother still has no idea, no one does except him. I feel like my life is over, my childhood, my dreams of being able to enjoy a sexual relationship, everything. Till this day i still haven't been tested. And the more i think about it, the more i recieve information, the more i want to get tested, i guess my fear is that i actually have it and not being tested is given me that feeling that i don't have it because i haven't had a doctor actually say i do. i just want to know that i will be okay and will be able to enjoy sex some day and that maybe someone will want to marry me knowing that i have an STD. someone, anyone shine a light on me PLEASE. thank you!

Answer:
Hi Ballet. I'm a guy in my thirties and am feeling your pain and frustration. Been there, done that. I got it from a girlfriend that was scared to tell me and chance losing me. I went thru all the same emotions you're going thru, I think we all do. But know this...it's not the end of the world. Over the years I've had a couple of girlfriends that have had it, and told me up front. It's an inconvenience at best but you gotta deal with it. I like to think of it as an old crappy set of luggage that you can't seem to get rid of and it kinda keeps following you around (this is where you smile). If you wanna chat I'm here.