Question:
I have herpes. I have had it for about thirty years. I had contracted it from my first wife who had affairs during our marriage.

At first it was blisters on my genital, then the herpes had moved from there to my right fore-arm but had never returned on my genital. It then had moved from my fore-arm to my buttock. It is here where the flare-ups happen and has never returned to my fore-arm.

I had finally gone to see my doctor about it about five years ago and it was at that time that I was diagnosed with it. Why had I waited so long? I do not know. It could be that the flare-ups only happen when I am a tremendos amount of stress or if I masturbate too much.

The thing that does bother me is that my second wife who is my present wife does not want to hear the word herpes though she has never contracted it from me in all of our twenty years of marriage. When a flare-up does come I just say "I have that thing on my butt again and have to contact my doctor" I had joined this site, this group, because I just need to talk about my herpes and I need the support of others who are in the same or near the same situation that I am in.

Though I will not say anything to any of my friends because I know of the stigma when one mentions that they have herpes but I feel no shame. That does sound contradictory but I feel no shame. It is just that dealing with my wife's response had given me a clue as to what my friend's responses my be.

Thank you

Bill :)

Answer:
Hi Bill
I've had herpes for 22 years now and I feel no shame either!!! Why should we?? It something we have to live with. I do tell some people about it, because I get occurrences very often and get very, very tired and quite depressed. The reaction I get is not of horror or disgust, but as people don't really seem to know much about it, I explain it to them and then I normally get UNDERSTANDING!! Maybe that's just the Germans for you!! To add to that, I don't tell everyone, just female friends AND female neighbours.

When I lived in England I was a Personal Assistant/Secretary and when I had to take time off I said I had a virus and nobody asked any more questions!

Can't help with you with problem you have with your wife, but I am sure there is someone out there that will be able to.

So bye for now,
Regards,
Ruth