Question:

Traumatized

Near the end of 2004, November to be exact, I met a guy that I had chatted with a few times online. After meeting casually as friends he expressed wanting to see me out, like on a date. I wasn?t really sure about that and he really wasn?t my type. He was a lot older (17 years older); I had just turned 27.

I had a lot of stuff going on in my life then; I had quit college temporarily and had a string of failed relationships and encounters with men the two years prior. Anyway, I finally gave in. I figured it couldn?t hurt to watch movies and stuff together. He was nice to me and seemed to really want to be with me. We started going out a lot to dinner and hanging out. Well not long after, we began having sex. We did discuss briefly our health status; I felt I could trust him; we were adults and decided to have unprotected sex.

This went on for months. All is well?or so I thought! One night, toward the end of May we got together like we normally did. We were fooling around before sex. I saw on his penis, what appeared to be a small red abrasion. I?d never seen anything like that on him prior to this time and I?m usually very observant. I didn?t even think an STD since we?d already been together about 5 months and everything was fine. I asked him what it was and if it hurt. He replied, no it didn?t really hurt that he had just caught himself in his zipper the day before (he never wears underwear); I didn?t think anything of it. He had not lied to me thus far. We proceeded with intercourse that night.

Three days later the weekend comes. We had a pool party at his house. I noticed a slight discomfort in my genital region, on the lower lip area. It felt like an ingrown hair I guess. We had sex again that night. The irritation kept getting worse and worse. By the end of the day on Sunday, I?m like, geesh do I have a yeast infection gone awry. By this time the irritated area was larger. By Monday I had blister like deals (of course I checked with a mirror). I started researching online of for all sort of vaginal infections or anything that would cause that. Really I had no luck. I?m still not thinking STD. Well finally, for some reason, I recalled something from a Microbiology class I took a year before. I searched for herpes. My blisters looked just like herpes, plus I had the swollen lymph nodes, malaise and generally felt like the flu. I pretty much diagnosed myself. I called the clinic where I normally go for my annual on Monday. They were booked solid and couldn?t see me until Tuesday as a walk-in. Great!

I told my bf about this. I honestly don?t even remember his initial reaction. He just said, he?d drive me to the clinic the next day (since I was in so much pain ? I couldn?t really walk, sit or urinate in comfort).

After camping out in the clinic waiting room for four hours shivering, the Nurse Practitioner finally saw me. It only took her about three seconds to visually inspect and said, ?Yep, that?s herpes?. She counseled me and prescribed Acyclovir. I was happy just to be making some progress. I?ve never felt so ill in my life I think.

I tried to speak to the bf again afterward; if he was ever in contact with anyone with herpes. He was like, ?No I don?t think so?well, this girl I was living with in the 80s had something?I don?t know.? I was so frustrated with him. He then kept up with the defense of, ?I don?t know how this came into our lives?lets not play the blame game.? Well obviously his zipper accident wasn?t just that! I did ask him to please get tested also and get treatment, but he refused!

We remained in the relationship for the next 8 months. Things really just deteriorated over time for different reasons. I don?t think he understood what I was going through both physically and psychologically, after all?he just got zipped. Really, he never had many or very severe outbreaks. I seemed to have them pretty much monthly. Even during those times when I had outbreaks, he was insensitive and still tried to have sex with me although being in pain!!

We broke up in January and I haven?t had any relationships or relations since then. I?ve attempted to get to know a few people online over this time, but nothing serious has become of it.

I?ve since gone on Valtrex, 500mg daily to control having outbreaks all the time. So far so good?

That?s my story I hope you all have enjoyed!

Take Care!



Answer:
I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you, I guess it shows you (boyfriend) can be immature at any age. I hope that you meet someone soon and you can be happy the rest of your life!