Question:
:confused: I am so scared. When I became involved with a man who got cold sores pretty regularly, I didn't know (dumb, I know, but the truth) that I could get the herpe virus from him through oral sex. I, myself, have never had a cold sore in my life. I have never had any experience with anything remotely related to herpes except chickenpox when I was very young.

He has (or had) NEVER had herpes in the genital area - NEVER! But we would have oral sex as his cold sores would begin to heal. About a month ago (four days after the last time we had sex) he developed a spot on his penis. It is just slightly red and raised (very slightly raised). It is sensitive to the touch. No itching, no burning, no real pain, just sensitive and has lasted for almost a full month now. No blisters have ever formed, it has not changed at all during this entire month. He said that at first it felt as if he has caught it in his zipper! It is just there. No other symptoms at all. When reading the list of symptoms of genital herpes it doesn't really seem to fit, but that is all that we can think it could be. I have had NOTHING happening to me! We are both very scared, especially since it first appeared only four days after sex.

Could he have given me genital herpes from his cold sores and now I be a carrier and have given it to him in his genital area???? :shock: We began to be very careful, once my dr. told me I could get this from his cold sores, and I have NEVER had anything, not even a little bit, in my genital area that has been out of the ordinary.

Does anyone or can anyone tell me if what I am describing (about him) might be genital herpes? The last time we had sex was Jan. 18th. This raised, red, sensitive spot showed up on him three to four days after that.

I want to go and get tested, but don't see how I can be if I have never had any signs or symptoms. He is supposed to go to the dr. today and see what he says, but I am so very scared. We have been together for 9 years - and now after all this time - THIS????

Any and all help and/or advise would be so much appreciated!!!!

Thank you and feel free to ask me any questions that you need to in order to help me, "help you guys", to understand what I am trying to say and what "we" are going through right now.

God Bless,
Jay

Answer:
you can get a blood test because a lot more people than you think DO NOT GET symptoms or carry the virus for years without it being active (visibly or not) andthat is why it is not known for so long. Also, theres a chance, unless you have had blood tests specific to herpes throughout the years to know if you are carrying it. ...if not theres no way to know except both go get tested and ask for type specific blood tests...there will be antibodies to either one.....for him he will definitely have one type (due to his coldsores....most likely type 1) However, he could have both 1 and 2 and you will have to assume it is in both areas on him if thats the case.....or he may just have type 1....you can have it orally and genitally. Also, if you test positive for either one.....keep in mind both viruses can live either orally or genitally so you will have to keep an eye out to see where you think you have it if you dont have symptoms. A doctor can not refuse you a blood test......a crazy amount of people have no symptoms but yet carry and and are contagious and dont know so blood tests are common practice in those cases. Get one done and find a doctor who knows what the hell they are doing and talking about otherwise you will just be misinformed more. Good luck to you.

Answer:
Thank you so much for the reply. Here is the really scary part. When he and I first got together, we both got tested (blood) for EVERYTHING just to set our minds at ease with eachother and we both came up clean! Yes he has HSV1, we have always known that (and as I said, stupid me didn't realize that I could get it "down there" from him having a cold sore), but everything else was negative. If it is "that" on him now down there, could it possibly be from him having a cold sore, "us" kissing during that time, and then me performing oral sex on him right after? And if this is what he has - will I most definitely have it also???

One more question - do you know what specific blood test could be done on me (since I have had no indication whatsoever) that will "for sure" tell me one way or another?

Again thank you for all of your help and for replying to me.....I just want to cry!

God Bless,
Jay

Answer:
I want to apologize for using the word "clean" - I didn't in anyway mean that ugly!!! I just was trying to express that neither he nor I had any form of STD other than his HSV1 - I am new to this and I have friends and family memebers with HSV1 & 2 and they are by no means "dirty" in my mind - it is just something that happens to the best of us and it is sometimes out of our control. So please don't let what I said hurt or offend anyone! I would never mean to purposely do that - I will watch the way I talk from here on out.

p.s. Would have gone back and edited my post but can't figure out how. :-(

Answer:
Yes I'm not a lover of the 'clean' word! But no offense taken!

I can't help you with what you're asking I'm afraid. Isn't it possible that he has type 1 both orally and genitally?

Good luck to you both

Answer:
Ok - I just had to share this with you all and see what you think. He went to a clinic where they do this type of thing all the time. The dr. took one look at him and LAUGHED!! He told him that he must have scratched himself and due to not wearing underware most of the time, it has just stayed irritated - ????? What do you all think? The dr. wouldn't even do any bloodwork - said there was no need for that!

I don't know (and neither does he) if I should be relieved or still worried. He did tell him that if it is not gone in another few weeks - then go see a urologist.

Still wondering.....but kinda relieved......:confused:

Answer:
when, there is an outbreak, get tested right away. this will make certain if it herpes or not, sometimes the outbreak is so mild, people dont notice what it is, i had the same thing, and went a got tested it was positive.

so the best to find out, is get tested, when there is an outbreak

Answer:
Mmm...it's easy to blame the doctor, but I think your boyfriend also had a responsibility to insist on beig tested - maybe he wasn't assertive (does he really WANT to get tested or are you doing all the pushing).

I don't think I'm really tuned in to why you're so stressed, you've accepted he could give you coldsores either orally or genitally and you act accordingly eg avoiding oral sex whilst he's having on oral outbreak. If he has it genitally then the same rules apply. It sounds as if it's a long-term serious realtionship which makes all the difference in my mind. Or perhaps you're not seeing that way.

I'm not trying to play it down (my life will never be the same because of this f**king virus) it's just that you're already taking the risk of getting it.

And yes you certainly could have it and not show any signs/symptoms.

Answer:
you could have it too. In my opinion if you have been together for 9 years and got blood tests at the beginning and have been with no one else then he has had it all along. Also, you say he tested positive for HSV1 back then but tests just identify what type you have and I think back then you guys both assumed it was only oral HSV1 he had but the most likely thing is that he had it both places back then or has since spread it down there via his own actions accidentaly or from you kissing his mouth, then kissing him down there. Chances are you have it too. BUT please know when he showed HSV1 antibodies back then that means the virus was in his body then and will be forever. THE POSITIVE for HSV1 that came back in his blood years ago DID NOT necessarily mean he did not alreay have it below the waist... it just was a way of telling you he carries the virus and therefore to take precautions as a result of the knowledge. have him get tested again and insist....many doctors are reluctant but you have to stand strong and THEY CANNOT refuse you a blood test. You have a right to know about your health and many doctors who are not specialists or have only a limited knowledge of herpes only diagnose what they have learned, which isnt much. A lot of doctors are not even aware of how minor a symptom could be or that people have no symptoms at all. Luckily my doctor knew what I had (not typical at all) COULD be herpes and did a blood test in case. INSIST on one. Good luck!