Question:
Hi all

I've been seeing this guy who I really like for about a month a a half and we've been a 'couple' for about 3 weeks. Anyway, on Saturday night round his after getting back from a club, we somehow got onto the subject of STDs and I ended up confessing that I have herpes. I had planned to speak to him about this at a better moment, but it all ended up coming out. I wanted to be calm and in a rational state of mind when I spoke to him but because we'd had a bit to drink, I ended up crying as I told him!! He got upset from seeing me cry but said he was okay with it.
I stayed the night at his and brought it up again the next day saying he had no problems but it had just come as a bit of a shock. However, his behaviour all day was fine.

He took me home Sunday night and agreed that he's come over onn Wednesday. Monday morning I remembered he has football on Wednesdays so txted him asking him when he'd rather come round. I got no reply and still haven't heard from him (he never ever has any credit on his phone but there is such a thing as a phonebox!)

I know this may sound petty but I'm getting seriously paranoid! Should I try and call him tonight or leave the ball in his court?

Ang x

Answer:
Hi Ang x,

Just have a trust in all that are going on now.

You did all you had to do. I'm proud of you. This IS a very emotional matter. When you have to tell this to someone who is important to you, of course you get emotional. ( In my case, I literally screamed at the man :o ) But when they understand, they just understand. And there is no better time than the time things actually happen. You told him honestly, at the right moment.

Now, he may just be busy and can't get back to you. Or.. he may be having a second thought about dating with someone who have herpes. Only he knows what's going on.
You may want to call him to make sure that he got your text message, or you may want to just wait.... But I don't think the decision will make any difference to the relationship between you and him. You did all you could do. Other than that, you have no control over anything or anybody's decision.

He must be a good person, he told you that it was no problem. He spent all night with you, I can tell, he cares about you, and he is a compassionate person. But at the same time, he can be a bit scared of this kind of STD. He might want to have time to think it through. You know...?
Besides, having the fact that you have herpes being accepted by someone, is not the goal of a relationship. When 2 people became together, there are lots of things that you have to go through. Herpes is only one of them.

Just trust.
He'll get back to you when he's ready. Even if he doesn't, there is nothing you can do about it. You did all you could do. And that was good enough. Things will work out for the best.

<Smile>

Faith

Answer:
Chin up Ang. You done the best thing. And if it's any consulation i've just had to do the same thing myself but in somewhat different circumstances..

I can understand the things that are going through your mind right now and it must have been difficult. Give him the benefit of the doubt and call him to see what he thinks about the situation..

You may find that he is intially worried and may want to do some research into the disease before he commits himself to anything. It's hard i know, as your gonna have to deal with type of scenario again, and if he decides not to continue with you, well if that happens it was not worth your time in the first place. Because if he really thinks of you and wants to be with you, you will both work around it...

You're right the ball is in his court. But you done a brave thing in telling him..

Good luck in moving foward..

Btw. You're in England right..?

Answer:
Thank you so much for your kind words of support and encouragement. You are absolutely right in saying that no matter what I do, it's not going to change his decision.

I did call him in the end and he seemed fine and is supposed to be coming over tonight. However, I think the stress of telling him at the weekend has brought on an attack - talk about bad timing!!

From all the partners I've told, I've never once had someone turn their back on me - with the exception of the guy I caught it from - ironic!!

Thanks again,

Ang x

Answer:
Hi,

I'm glad to hear that things turned out well...

From all the partners I've told, I've never once had someone turn their back on me - with the exception of the guy I caught it from - ironic!! :-) I know, things always happen in a very ironical way... right?
But they all teach us many sides (faces) of one thing.
And because of that, we've come to know that there are many people who have good heart and who are kind and compassionate. That makes you smile, doesn't it? <smile>

Please take care..

Faith

Answer:
I too have only gotten a bad reaction from the guy who gave it to me in the first place. Everyone since then has been fine with it. Still, I'm not in a relationship at the moment and still get stressed at the thought of telling someone new, especially since H has suddenly become a lot worse (after 5 years of hardly any symptoms at all). I always think that the next guy I tell will be the one to freak out about it.