Question:
i have never told this story to anyone> How i got type 2 genital herpes is completly my fault and i will forever feel like a horrible person. I met my current boyfriend 10 months. I knew things were serious and i had never felt that way before. There was one problem. He lived 15 hours away and was only here visiting family when we met. He hadnt dated anyone for 3 years because of the type of work he was doing the rate of your special other cheating on you was very high and he didnt want to risk it. When he met me he felt like things were special enough to forget that rule and try a long distance relationship. We had that long distance relationship for 5 months. Every 2 months we would take a trip and would visit each other for a couple of days. I have always been a very loyal person and have always frowned on people who have cheated. I was always the one that said " i cant believe she cheated on him" well and thats where things went really wrong. I met someone at work. I honestly wasnt intrested in him in "that" way. Its a bad excuse and i will never know why i did it, i was very lonley, but i did the one thing i always said i wouldnt do. I cheated on someone i really cared about. If we hadnt been having a long distance relationship i probably wouldnt have done it. thats no excuse. I thought i was a stronger and better person then that and thats something i fight with everyday. I found out a couple of days later and i was terrified. I already felt guilty about my mistake and then i found out i wasd positive for herpes. Afte finding out i told my boyfriend that i had just tested positive. I never told him how i got it. I was honest and up front about it with him from the start. I didnt want to make another mistake by giving it to him. I told him that if he didnt want to date someone with herpes i understood. He said he didnt care ( what a great guy) so i was only half truthful with him and it kills me everyday. I go through feelings of depression an guilt. I feel like such a bad person. I had never cheated before and to this day i dont no why i made this one mistake. I can say one thing for certain. It is a mistake i will never repeat again. I know there are people out there who dont tell their partner they have herpes, or they chroniclly cheat on their partner. I never did either. I try to think that i am just a good person who made a really bad mistake, one thati will never repeat again. The person who gave it to me i cant stand. In some weird way i never liked him ( sounds weird i know) which is why i cant understand why i did it. I think it was because i was lonley and wanted some attention, both bad reasons. I know that if i toldmy boyfriend, he probably wouldnt stay with me. We were both very specific on not cheating when we first started dating. I know it would be the right thing to do to tell him, but the thing that holds me back is the negativ effect it would have on him. He would have a hard time trusting women again, and i could never live with the fact that i disappointed him and hurt him with that information. Most people on this website have gotten it through a negative experience such as a cheating spouse or a partner who never told them they had it. I didnt want to be that kind of person which is why i told my boyfriend when i found out. since my mistke, my boyfriend has moved down to the area and we now live together. I no longer talk to the person who gave it to me. we now use condoms to protect him, but i have such a hard time living with this guilt. I am really depressed and feel like a terrible person. sometimes i have good days and sometimes i go through bad days. I cant forgive myself for my horrible mistake. the reason i am writing this confession is because i know that everyone on this website has been touched in some way by this STI and who else to be judged then by the people who are always livng with the same problem that i myself live with everyday. I just hope that people dont think that i am a bad person.

Answer:
How you feel about yourself is the only opinion that matters. If you learned something from this and you never make that mistake again and it changes your life for the better then I'd say you have a perfectly legitimate reason to take this secret to your grave but you and only you know what the truth is. We are human and we make mistakes, we fall down and the only thing we can do is get up and keep going. To spend our days in regret and guilt is to waste our lives.

I can understand how being unfaithful in a committed relationship is a deal breaker and I can understand how two people can agree to try to have a monogamous relationship but you are still entitled to live your life and you made a decision you now say that you regret it and that should be okay. What other explanation do you need. You should forgive yourself. You only have one life to live and only you can determine what you need to be happy. The rest of the world will be happy to stomp you down if you let them and it is your responsibility to applaud your successes, keep trying to be a good person and to quit punishing yourself. Isn't the hsv enough of a punishment. If you love this man then you owe it to both of you to be happy and to pursue your dreams not get sidetracked in the guilt of a momentary indescretion that wasn't even worth the time you spent making it. I guarantee that if you tell him it will cause him pain and it might destroy the relationship. But if keeping it a secret will destroy your ability to forgive yourself and go on then you must be prepared to face the consequences of not only your actions but your reactions. Reacting is not necessary to moving forward it is a choice.

Life does not conduct itself by a bunch of rules. Humans try to put rules and restrictions and laws all around themselves to pretend to have control but that is not how it really works. You are limited by the limitations you put on yourself and you can take them away and be free and happy. Accept the truth and embrace it. If the truth is that you acknowledge your humanity and your ability to make mistakes and your ability to feel remorse then you are a wise person and you will have learned what you needed to learn.