Question:
I came home last night to a very angry spouse who had visited the doctors office for a particualarly bad yeast infection and left the office with herpes medication and ointment...also two tests were being submitted to confirm, the results are not back for a few days. She is understandably very upset as we have recently reconcilled after a short separation this summer (I didn't have any extra curricular activities with the exception of a few evening dates and the odd fishing trip with one lady. No sexual contact and the odd kiss at best....my wife is aware of this relationship) and she understandably suspects I have been sleeping with this person and have passed the virus on to her. We have been married for almost 6 years
What I do know is I have never had a fever blister/cold sore or shown symptoms of genital herpes in the past, not even as a young child. I'll admit as a young man I was a practioner of serial monogamy and probably had a partner for most of my adult life (practicing safe sex I will add except for early on in my late teens when we were both in our first relationship) and most of those AFAIK didn't ever admit openly to me about possibly having the virus....this is where I'm puzzled and very confused :?
Is it possible to contract the virus and never know? As my wife has had cold sores in the recent past is it possible that I have created secondary infection by passing the virus from her mouth to her genitals during intercourse?...I am really ticked off because I know "where I have been" taking the trust and openness of my past partners into consideration.
As a member of the British armed forces we were always having screenings for STD's and also has an immigrant to the US I underwent a very stringent physical examination and Drug/STD/Disease screenings as part of the entry requirements, I have later learned that HSV screenings are not done except for when specifically asked for.
I honestly cannot see any logic in an outbreak 5+ years into a relationship as if had I been infected since before we were married I'm sure we would have seen this sooner....is it possible for my spouse to be a carrier and have a first outbreak years after infection?

Any and all thoughts will be gratefully recieved, also any advice as I'm feeling quite sick to my stomach with worry. Still the results are not in and I may be giving myself undue stress for no good reason.

many thanks

Kevin

Answer:
I understand your frustration and stress. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years now and all of a sudden out of NOWHERE I get herpes. Now what I Hear is so confusing and almost like nobody knows what they are talking about. I have only other sexuual partner before and was 4 years ago. They say most of the time you show signs 2 days to 2 weeks after to get it, well my boyfriend never had symtoms, they also say you could have it for years before you show signs or never have symtoms. So we don't know would had it first and would gave it to who. My doctors also says if my boyfriend never had a breakout and has a blood test it could come out negative but he could still have it. It doesn't make any sense to me and makes me so frustrated. Good luck

Answer:
Thanks Bonnie
I have done a lot more reading and yes you can be infected for years without knowing, 15 years ago I had a scare whilst I was cycling as an amateur in Europe...I had a bunch of sores appear in the crotch region (mostly in the folds between the legs and pubic region) and reported to the team doctor, he said I had jock itch which I had aggravated by scratching and gave myself a (secondary) staph infection, antibiotics cleared it up in days....thankfully as it was almost unbearable. However I had a new partner at that time who was very secretive about her past, I just thought she was a little inhibited and wrote it off...we had a daugher (Danielle) and eventually a few years later the relationship dissolved, I had no suspicions of anything unusual until now, if that is where I was first exposed to the virus with no symptoms before or since I'd be suprised, but I have learnt it is possible to have this for years and not know.
The reason I'm wondering is Danielle was born by c-section and at the time the Obs wouldn't discuss it with me and asked me to speak to my wife about it....that is the biggest clue for me, knowing that it is dangerous during child birth they may have elected the c-section because of an outbreak or at my wifes request...fast forward to the present day.
The initial cultures my current wife has had turned out to be inconclusive, one negative, one void due to mishandling which has led to a visit with a gynocologist and more cultures and a blood test, I myself have submitted a blood sample also. Reading the statistics, if an infected man were to engage in intercourse with 100 un-infected women over a 1 year period 10 of those women would end up being infected, this is of course subject to them not having symptoms, and no antiviral medications....a classic "I had no idea I had it" scenario....giving that my present wife and I have been married for just under 6 years this would possibly fit as we engage in sex a lot less than 100 times a year, twice a week maybe less...and if I'm not showing direct sypmtoms I may be feeling off color, or just plain tired when I'm having an invisible outbreak it just may well have prevented me passing it on until now.....lots of questions, and not enough answers, as soon as I have reliable results I'll let the board know.

thanks again

a more educated Kev

Answer:
Here's a reliable website that will answer your question.


http://www.aad.org/pamphlets/herpes.html

Here's a quote:

"As with Type 1, sites and frequency of repeated bouts vary. The initial episode can be so mild that a person does not realize that he or she has an infection. Years later, when there is a recurrence of HSV, it may be mistaken for an initial attack, leading to unfair accusations about the source of infection."