Question:
I never know where to post my stuff, so it usually ends up here.

I was hanging out with some casual-hangout friends yesterday, and they bring up this video off the internet about this girl talking and how funny it is.

http://video.tinypic.com/player.php?v=52npqvq

The first portion of the video is stupid mindless little girl stuff. Go to the last quarter and you'll see where I got upset.

All these people (none of the ones present know about my diagnosis) go into this huge discussion enforcing every stigma possible about people with genital herpes. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom so I could throw up, I couldn't believe I was sitting there listening to my friends say all this fucked up shit AND LAUGHING ABOUT IT. I was half-tempted to tell them, and when they asked why I was being so quiet all I said was, "I don't think I've ever known a more retarded group of people in my entire life."

Am I the only one that's had things like this happen? How have you dealt with it?

Answer:
No, I've never had that happen, but then again, I can't remember when the subject has ever come up among my group of friends. It must have been difficult for you, but if you want to be prepared if it ever happpens again, arm yourself with the facts and educate them.

Statistics don't lie. One in five people have the virus, most people have it without knowing they do, and chances are good, if there are more than 5 people in your group, one of them probably carries some form of it. Ask them how many of them have ever been tested for herpes. That should shut them up, and hopefully, make them think.

I gotta say, that girl in the video was a mess. I have a teenage son, and if he ever acted that stupid, I'd send him back where he came from.

Answer:
I've sat in a room listening to people being really racist about chinese people before, without them realising I was half chinese. So I guess I've been in a similar situation, apart from it must be alot harder to tell them whats up if its something that carries the social stigma herpes does.

Really don't know how i'd deal with that one, but I guess my friends are pretty mature, plus some of them also have herpes, which helps.

Answer:
Maybe it's because of how young I am and the fact I live in a fairly small major city (when compared to places such as NY, Chicago, etc.) that talk of herpes is never, ever in a positive well-informed light. I'm not joking when I say I hear it mentioned from people and over the radio on a daily basis as some kind of cruel joke.

Case in point:

Last night I had coffee with a friend and her new fiance. While talking it was brought up that you never sleep with co-workers or people that live in your same apartment building/complex. And the easiest way to do so? Just tell yourself they all have herpes.

Of course... I wasn't so much insulted, I even laughed a little to myself. I'm the H person at work and in my building. I am that neighbor and co-worker.

Answer:
If they thought the 'video' was funny then I find THAT more worrying than anything!!!!!!!! I think your comment to them was spot on.

If they all got tested some of them would definitley have it - either type one or two.

I'm probably at a different stage than you are, but I just think 'Fuck 'em'!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're ignorant, and at some stage, I'm guessing, they'll grow-up.

Answer:
This may sound totally wrong but I have a group of friends who all got together and went to get matching tattoos.

I didn't participate because frankly I like to be an original but this thread got me thinking about peer pressure.

How would it be if everyone went as a group and got std tested instead? It sure would be a reality check and an honesty ice breaker.

Answer:
I've only been dxd for about 2 weeks now but I have heard jokes and comments all over the place. Just tonight at work a couple of my friends and I were joking around and someone said "Looks like he's got herpes all over his face" None of the people I work with, except for a girlfriend of mine knows about my diagnosis, but when he said that, i just looked at her and then walked away.

Stupid people.

Answer:
i hear things like that all the time and it is so hard because like it or not the reality is that is how the majority of people view and judge it. I hate it and wish it was different but its not. for anyone that has been to a college recently for an extended length of time........have you also noticed it is the most talked about subject and how "gross" the people are that have it? Its just such a reality its hard to ignore but you have to just try and find it in your heart to be stronger than the words that hurt you and find love and peace in your life. Easier said than done I know.........I am also trying to do so but its hard sometimes.

Answer:
The stigma is the only part that scares me about about this. And I'm way past college, when you hope peoples' maturity will kick in. It seems so unfair when you consider how many people have this and how quickly it becomes not a big deal, health-wise. I'm beginning my first episode, and my symptoms are so mild that I'd take this over my period any day -- except for the turn-and-run stigma that I'm afraid is going to follow me around until I find someone who's willing to "settle" for me. The worst thing: Before this week, I totally bought into the stigma. So did the guy who gave this to me. And we thought we were educated and open-minded people!