Question:
I'm not really mad because sometimes I think to myself I deserve what I got. Sure my numbers are low like 16 men in two years. Which I think is considerably low for a gay man. Most guys I do know double my number three times. I guess I'm pissed off because of that. I could pass this horrible virus along to the next guy like Gataen Dugas did with HIV/AIDS. I'm sure American doctors don't want another super spreader. But I'm not going to do that I was raised differently. When I was clean I could get any man I wanted from ages 18 to 65. I was even hit on by 16 and 17 year old gay High Scool boys at the mall or online. I passed them off because they were to young for me and I wanted real man not a boy.

Answer:
Deserve might be a strong word, but if you knew your partner had herpes prior to relations, it shouldn't be a shock. And I have to say, multiple partners does increase the chance of spreading any std exponentially. Sixteen men in two years. And you seem to be bragging about the fact that you exercised restraint. I must be missing something here.

Repeat after me... long term, meaningful relationship. Maybe it's something you should consider pursuing.

Answer:
I didn't know which partner had it and they all told me they got tested and everything came out negitive. I think some just say that so they can shoot their load. Out of sixteen guys I fooled around with only one wanted to pursuse a relationship with me.

Answer:
Well, sadly, people lie. Still, I guess your 'fooling around' days are over. From now on you're going to have to seriously consider your actions and take responsibilty for them. Time to grow up, Nick, and stop passing around sex like it's candy. Respect yourself more than that.

Answer:
maybe...... or maybe not

Answer:
I don't know how old you are -- in any case, I can see how it sucks to grow up faster than you want and give up your player years bc of this. But on the other hand, being forced to give up casual sex might funnel you into a good relationship. And having to tell people about HSV weeds out people who aren't really ready for you.

Seriously, the stuff you were saying about being able to get whomever you wanted -- that stuff went through my head, too (but about dating more than sex; I've slept with only 3 ppl, and I'm 28). I used to be so confident and had so much fun getting guys to like me, even just as flirt-friends. Now I feel like a fraud, and I'm imagining there's a sea of guys I could have been with and now can't because they won't be able to deal with HSV.

But then I figure if they can't deal with the HSV, there's a bajillion other things about me they ultimately wouldn't have accepted either. At least we don't have to waste our time with people who end up dumping us for our stupid foibles.

I'm not just saying this as some strawberry-scented Oprah Winfrey la-la land girly girl. The guy who gave me HSV said the same thing when he found out he was infected. These things happen for a reason. Not punishment -- just fate's way of promoting the kind of behavior that will make us happier in the long run.

Answer:
I'm 28.

I guess the parentheses turned that into an emoticon. :o