Question:
I’ve been crying a lot lately and depressed. I am sick of seeing people that I haven’t seen for a while and them asking me if “I’m still seeing that guy” NO!! I’m NOT!! “why? What happened they say?” I had a herpes outbreak, I went to the doctor to have it confirmed and found out I have herpes and he doesn’t OKAY!! He left shortly after.” And then to make it worse.. “well, your running out of time you know” I know!!!! I want babies so bad but I will not probably ever have them because I’m almost 32yrs old and I can’t have sex “causally” like other people because I have herpes and I can’t have introvetro because I’m also poor so please piss off with the comments!! They hurt so bad! I know people don’t mean to but it does, it just hurts.

My self esteem lately is just junk and I’m gaining weight and I can’t exercise as much because of weight and now I’ve had this weird stomach crap for a couple of days its probably interal herpes or a kidney thing because because lysine can cause that I read… I mean I don’t know what it is but I would imagine there is something wrong with my female organs because God (who I love dearly) seems to making it clear I should not get my hopes up of ever having children. Lets just infect her female organs until she gets rid of them already. I already had surgery a couple yrs ago for hpv pre-cancerous cells. Its hard to let go of the hold American dream …the husband the kids and the white picket fence especially when it seems everyone keeps bringing it up the fact that I’m not fitting the mold. Bad days make the good better… Hope you know your having whatever kind of day is meant to be.

God bless!

Meme

Answer:
would you REALLY want to have a baby from some casual sex encounter? so when your child ask wheres my daddy, you can say oh he was just some one night thing i just wanted you.... i dont think so, so suck it up ~ all your issues, and say i dont care what people expect me to do, what do i expect from my self? and how can i do that and be happy?
sitting there being depresses isnt going to help, it will most likely make it worse cause of all your time to think- so get out, go do something walk around the block, or to the store, walk until you cant feel your toes- this will help your weight issue (cause unless you 500+ lbs everyone is able to walk- it might be slow but its something) and your getting out, your seeing new people you never know if mr. right is on the next street corner waiting to bump into you.


if they ask say it didnt work out, you dont need to tell them your life story.

Answer:
Thirty-two isn't nearly old enough to even consider ditching the idea of having kids. It never even occurred to my husband and me to have any kids until I was 40, and that worked out fine. In fact, my OB dr asked me afterward how many more I was planning to have. Age isn't such an obstacle anymore as it once was.

He left you? Because you have HSV? What the hell kind of reason is that? Would he have stuck around if you had found out you had leukemia, or a brain tumor? Probably not. Who needs someone who's going to cut and run when things get tough? Not you. To hell with him.

If you really think the Lysine is causing you problems, stop taking it. The worst that will happen is you'll get an ob. You've had them before. Try something else, or see what happens without anything. You might be surprised.

I don't mean to come down hard on you, but if you want someone else to love you, first you have to love yourself. You have dreams, go after them, because they sure as hell aren't going to come to you. You've got to want them bad enough to chase them down, and if it doesn't work out, at least you know you gave it your best shot.

Wipe away those tears and take stock. You're not a victim, and you're not a failure unless that's what you choose to be. Falling down is not failure, but not getting back up is. I think maybe God isn't trying to tell you to give up your dreams, he's trying to tell you that if you want them to come true, you have to work at it.

Write down all the excuses you can think of for not losing that weight, not finding a mate, not having children, and not acheiving the things you want from life. Then set it on fire and watch them go up in smoke, because that's all they are... smoke. Self pity is deadly. It's crippling, and self perpetuating, and you don't need it. If you managed to make it to the age of 32 without someone taking care of you, then you must be capable, intelligent, and self-reliant. I'd wager a bet that you're a pretty nice person, too. Love yourself for that, and build on it. There are probably a lot of other qualities to admire in yourself, if you think about it. But you have to start there if you want all the rest. First things first, and right now, you need to come first. And stop listening to other people. It's your life, not theirs. You don't owe anyone an excuse or an apology for anything. Get tough, honey. Get mad, and then get moving.

Answer:
I have to say that I really like what writercll says about writing down your obstacles and letting them go up in smoke.

I have never done things the right way. I think I have the genetics that make me so stubborn that when life hands me lemons I plant a grove of lemon trees instead of settling for lemonade.

I never had a chance to plan the perfect life and who says there is only one way to make your dreams come true. You have the power to be held hostage by life or to make something of it that you maybe never dreamed of.

Part of this starts with throwing out the expectations that cause you pain. Get rid of the "should of beens" and the "could have beens" or "might have beens" they aren't reality they are obstacles that you take with you to fight what is real. Embrace what "is".

You are 32, wow! I was that age over a decade ago. So much potential, so many choices, young and beautiful and full of promise. I look back at myself at 32 and it was a beginning for so many wonderful things. It is the turning point where you can really begin to make your dreams come true. It is after 32 that I found my career. It is after 32 that I realized my personal power. It is after 32 that I bought my first house all by myself without anyones help. It is after 32 that I met the love of my life.

You deserve to let that pain go, if you can, and to love yourself unconditionally and to let yourself be happy. Anyone who gives you crap and tries to point out your failings is messed up. I've found that people who get down on you and tell you what you can't do are communicating that they couldn't do it themselves and they want you to give up too. You can do whatever you set your mind on. Be stubborn. Be strong.

Hugs

Answer:
awwww meme....
I'm sorry you are feeling so down. The women here have given you some wonderful advice. How lucky we are to have each other here, eh?
I just turned 49 and to think of being 32 ...ahhh...Those are great years my friend. You are a juicy peach! Youth is beautiful, plump or thin. We usually don't realize it when we're there...but in retrospect...wow! Enjoy it...it's fleeting.

Cheer up...change what you can....don't let Gd down by wasting time feeling bad about your life...get out there and Live to your potential!!

Answer:
would you REALLY want to have a baby from some casual sex encounter? I whole-heartedly agree with this. While I know people that have had casual sex, ended up pregnant and tried to start a family out of this... it usually doesn't work out. You went into your sexual encounter expecting it to be commitment-free and that's not what you got.

Any man you'd want to start a family with will like you--regardless of having H. You don't want to start a family with someone you "just" slept with, because you want to know they're REALLY there because they want to be. Kids are not a fleeting commitment, at least not in my opinion.

I'm the oldest kid my parents have, my mom had me around her mid-30's. I have friends whose parents didn't have them until later on in life. You can find someone, you just have to be looking into the right kind of people.