Question:
Hello. I am thankful for this site as it has helped me already.

I started dating a man in the beginning of April...we had intercourse for the first time about a month later. I (yes stupid!) did not worry about protection, as this man is a doctor! We had also had a discussion about stds; I asked him if he was tested for all including HIV, and he said, yes...he had been tested for everything. In early June I awoke in the middle of the night with pain in my genital area. That next morning I knew something was very wrong.... it felt as though I was peeing razorblades. So, I go to the doctor that very day, and they gave me a urine test and diagnose me with a UTI. My doctor was not able to see me for about 5 days. That weekend was the most emotional, painful time of my life up to this point. I found myself drinking as this was the only thing that relieved the physical pain.

Well, I finally see the doctor. Based on my physical symptoms, my doctor diagnosed me with HSV right there and said I had a 'classic' case. He told me that based on my bloodwork results, he would be able to determine if I have had this or just recently got it from my one and only partner in the last 5 months. He then wrote me a prescription for Valtrex and sent me on my way.....

Well, 5 days later, bam, my IGM and IGG antibodies were both negative, and the culture was positive for HSV2. My doctor said that my bf is the one who gave this to me. I was furious!! So, I tell my boyfriend.... and he goes and gets tested.....he claims he is negative, and wouldn't show my his results until i begged him.... he then, weeks later, showed me lab results that didn't look legitimate. He told me that I should go and find the man that infected me.... I am furious.... I know him, he is lying

Has anyone ever been through something like this?

Answer:
I'm sorry that this man deceived you. His behavior is clearly unethical and scandalous.

Unfortunately it is not unusual for people, of any walk of life, to be liars and to not care how their behavior affects others.

(My doctor said that this man , the doctor, is the one who gave this to me. I was furious!! BUT, very relieved that I was not carrying this )

I would warn you that it is very common to have hsv and immediately after exposure to have negative tests. This happens because it is too soon for your body to develop the antibodies required for the test to detect your infection. You indicate that your culture results are positive for hsv2. This means that you do have hsv and you are a carrier and can infect others.

Answer:
So, now I am looking into legal restitution. He has been so uncooperative and mean, he has brought me to this point.... I feel as though it is my duty to do SOMETHING..... I don't want him to do this to anyone else.....Has anyone ever been through something like this? Yes, another person had nearly an identical experience and was in process of suing the doctor/ex-boyfriend.

You may have a good case and I fully support your seeking legal counsel for exactly the reason you state. I would ask an attorney about causes of action for negligence and emotional distress and fraud.

A bad lawyer may get hung up on whether the doctor knew he had herpes before he infected you. Who gives a crap. The fact is he’s a doctor, and he either knew or should have known or should have suspected it. The fact that he’s a doctor makes it more legally inexcusable that he would not have known his own sexual health status. After all, he’s in the business of managing health/contagious disease risk factors. Healthcare workers themselves have to get tested for certain things and they are the last ones who should be in the dark about a diagnosis.

The fact that his real tests show he was positive at the same time that yours say you were negative works greatly for you. It says the transmission direction is a him-to-her one (he’ll try to say you gave it to him.) Or he will say if he did give it to you, he didn’t know he had it. Well, that doesn’t exactly matter as said above, and don’t be too surprised if you discover he did know (from his past records).

Additionally, there’s a professional misconduct/ethics issue here. His behavior— the act of tampering with medical records (no matter whose they are) and misrepresenting his health status after the fact (which is itself evidence that he was capable of misrepresenting his health status before the fact, and would likely go on to misrepresent his status to the next sex partner) and the act of infecting you and his indifference to your health, should definitely get the attention of his medical licensing board.

I advise you to preserve all records of communication from him-- email, voice mail, IM etc., and digitally record your conversations in person. If you know his previous sex partners, identify them to your attorney who can interview them. They often have loads of information.

A good attorney will get the doctor deposed under oath as soon as possible and get your case filed as soon as possible with as many legit causes of action as can be identified.

There is maintenance in contracting HSV—emotional, medical, medicinal, social. You’re entitled to compensation to manage that maintenance and you’re entitled to legal closure and justice about the circumstances of your contraction as the law allows.

Answer:
Hi Angel Eyes - it is nice to know that somoene else is being brave enough to fight the beast that infected them as this is by far not an easy case to fight and win thus people get discouraged about pursuing any type of action. They feel like they deserved it and you know what, they don't, you don't and I didn't! These people are careless and negligent and should pay for their actions whether the were drunk or whatever is no excuse. I had a little difficulty obtaining an attorney as the disease is quite common and hard to prove that the infected partner "knowingly" passed it onto you as there is no test that will tell you how long you have been infected. Its really awful. I am truly not in this for the money but just hoping that this guy will at least think about ever infecting another person without paying consequences. he has no regard for me or my life and I'm sure others and I also feel very dirty, discusting actually. I am very emotionally torn by this and taking one day at a time as that's all you can do. I am getting couseling and if you're not you should because the legality of al of this will, drain you even more. Let's keep in touch. I am waiting for the day that my attorney forwards the demand letter (maybe next week) so I can sleep for one night, just one night without crying and he will not! Hugs to you -

Answer:
It sure wouldn't hurt if you two can work together to come up with some case law where someone has actually won a case like this already. Better yet if you can find several.

This would certainly help the attorneys who represent you to make a good case.

I think that someone who is on this forum actually may have won a case but I don't know who.

Answer:
If I practiced law in Angel's jusrisdiction, based on what she said, I would take that case in a NY minute.

These cases are actually not hard. That’s a myth. Suing Microsoft is hard. The problem is the lawyers are dumb and trifling and lack vision. Often they don’t want to work on anything that they haven’t worked on before. They don’t want to have to learn what IGG means.

Any lawyer can know some law but you need a visionary. A lawyer has to have a vision for your case. They have to “get it” up in the cosmos. Your case is not some sterile set of facts. The facts intersect with the law and make a story. A lawyer has to get the story. They have to direct your case like a movie based on a real story because guess what: it is. Seriously. They have to understand how to get through the movie---every scene. It's a game—not a joke fun ha ha game, but a game like an arms race. There are main roads, off ramps, back roads and even back alleys, and they have to have that in their head as they move through your case, because that’s really what a case is. A strategy competition. The law is not going to jump up off the paper and present itself to the judge or jury. A living breathing lawyer has to bring this case alive right before the opposing counsel, and if you go to court, the judge and/or jury.

A trial is the worst case scenario. The only thing the case law shows you is who failed to settle. That’s fine, but it’s not the whole story of what your options are. Settlements are confidential so you never hear about them but they’re just as real—and often better. A trial is not about the case as much as its about the directors and the cast members—the lawyers and the witnesses, and I’m not just talking on court day. The drama has unfolded way before that. And it is absolutely a drama, the legal merits of which are only the starting point. Lawyers who can’t get past that aren’t any good to you.

All that said, I’m just saying the case described here sounds <<legally sophisticated term ahead>> yummy. A doctor, tampering with medical records?….not using protection and infecting his girlfriend willy nilly? …and lying about it? With clear medical records—and another doctor on record saying this guy is likely the source? Are you kidding me? Honey please, a lawyer should get up and dance over the chance to file this complaint---even if the plaintiff is a stripper, and I don’t think she is.

We’ve got clear injury, clear medical records, clear tampered medical records, clear professional misconduct, clear ethics violations, clear law, a clear doctor income stream to go after and we haven’t even done any discovery yet. Jeepers creepers. And for goodness sakes the burden of proof is a preponderance of evidence. Hell, I see a preponderance already.

I applaud both parties here for taking legal action. We need more people like you. Good legal luck to all.

Answer:
Wow, our stories are quite similar. If we were in the same location, I would say it was the same guy (it is not, but might as well be!!) I have posted before my situation, but here is the semi-shortened version...

dating a guy, he is a doctor , works in a hospital er...seemed like a true gentleman and honest, then I noticed some quirky things about him and his demeanor towards women (like how he spoke of his mother and sister). This was all after we had been dating a while. Didn't have sex until 2 months after we started dating. Just a lot of heavy petting up until then. Talked about our past, and each got HIV tests, etc. Talked about STDS. He never admitted to shit. We had protected sex. All seemed well. One time we didn't have protected sex (condom allegedly slipped off and he didn't notice..yeah, fuckin' right, I wonder about that) and two days later I had a painful red bump on my labia. Never had one before. Never had an STD before! (other than I have hsv1, since I was a child...but nope, no hsv2). Anyways, told him. He lied and said he was tested and was "clean". Then had him test again, and he also tried to falsify the test.....guess he thought I was some stupid, ignorant little woman...he liked to think ALL women were like this. THEN I had him tested again and he DID show up positive!!! he fuckin' lied, but tried to blame ME for giving it to HIM. (which would have been impossible, in that short of duration of time, for him to have herpes from ME AND SHOWING HE HAD THE VIRUS IN HIS BLOOD. )

I had seriously contemplated suing this jerk off , but in the long run, I opted for dealing with him in my own way. (let us just say he is not practicing medicine in the state he lives in...at least not where he is dealing with patients directly....I had a "talk" with a few people who chose to listen and believe me. Pretty amazing.) I didn't want to become the "face" or poster child of herpes. I have had a very colorful life, and due to the nature of work I do, which is at times in the public eye....I just didn't want my wonderful colorful past dragged out into a courtroom for public speculation and consumption. I am not ashamed of my past, as I did nothing bad, illegal or wrong...but that is not the point. I had a small child (he is older now, but still....) who I had to think about and I didn't want to cause HIM any duress or embarrassment at my expense. I opted for the "easy" way out, for his sake. I am glad I did so. It was the best situation for me, for my child and honestly, I just wanted to remove this asswipe from my life all together. HOWEVER....I did have a few talks with people in power....and like I said, this guy is not practicing medicine the way he wanted to, AND especially not around women! Am I vindictive? The Devil? You are goddam right I am!!!

HOWEVER, had I just be a single gal, no kids, nothing, I think I would have gladly taken this cad to court and raked his ass over the coals. HE would be the one paying for my valtrex and dynamiclear and lysine, etc!!! So I commend anybody who has the strength to take these people to court. Something HAS to be done to protect others. Perhaps the more these predators hear of potential legal action to be taken against them, the less likely they are to dole out "willy nilly' (I love when tohealth uses this word!!! ;-) ) STD's without disclosing!

Good luck to everybody! Keep us all posted as to what happens!!!

Answer:
HOWEVER....I did have a few talks with people in power....and like I said, this guy is not practicing medicine the way he wanted to, AND especially not around women! Am I vindictive? The Devil? You are goddam right I am!!!


I am SUCH a lover of revenge!!!!!!!!!! :D

And I too remember tohealth's fabulous phrase - 'willy nilly cunnilingus'.:lol::lol:

Sorry, gone completely off the point now...:?

Answer:
Maybe those docs names should go up on sites like dontdatehimgirl.com (+ all other avenues of public awareness.)