Question:
Well I'm not even sure I have Herpes but yet at the same time I'm positive I do. I am 23 years and have been dating the same guy for the past 2 years. (Long distance, he was in the army for most of our relationship and spent a year over in Iraq, with 2 R&R leaves home.) He is home now and we have sex a lot more then we did when he was gone obviously. I have been completely faithfull to him while he was gone and I want to think he was to me.. however I'm not sure. I've been with 4 people total including him. The last guy I was with was a year before I met him. Anyhow... I've been dealing with these blister type things and uncontrolable itching! May I add paranoia!!! What do I do? I see him itching himself but we all know guys do that anyway! :lol: I read up on it and it says the virus can lay dormant in your system and you not even know you have it! Could it be it was dormant in one of us and since we started having sex more it just peaked its ugly little head out? I want to get tested but I am sooo afraid, what happens if I have it and he doesnt, even though we have unprotected sex a lot. I am in major denial and would like to think I don't have it.. I'm just rambling now.. I cant think of how to get this all out. ****deep breath*********************************
-One fear of mine is I'm going to go ahead and get tested, tell him.. and he is going to acuse me of cheating.
-Another fear... I'm afraid I'm going to get sooo pissed off at him and blame him.. yell, scream, cry!! and what happens if it wasn't his fault!
This is scarey... truely I don't know what to do or how to go about this.
* I really really don't want this relationship to end.. I love him so much and we are good for each other.

Answer:
Honey, go today!! Get tested today! The sooner the better....If you are having physical symptoms, and they are recent, the virus might not show up in your blood yet---proving recent exposure, then bamn you got him. That is what happened to me. I got a symptom, went to doc ASAP. He declared it as herpes right on the spot and did bloodwork. the bloodwork came back negative! Proves that my one and only partner in the previous 5 months had given it to me..... Don't be scared, this is your health, this may not your fault--especially given the facts, he was away for a while....go with your absolute gut feeling, even if it terrifies you.... I am 28 yrs old and just got this 4 months ago. I am sooooo pissed, and I believe my 'infector' knew he had it--he is a doctor!!. In my case, he needs to be held accountable for his behavior, and he will.

Again, don't be scared. Go to your doctor today, even if they can't see you, go and ask for at least a urine sample, ANYTHING to get you there......the sooner the better :)

I am here, feel free to ask me anything.

take care

Answer:
Just wanted to add that he should be tested, too.

And if it does turn out that you're both positive, if you love each other, does it matter who gave it to whom? Instead of getting bogged down in the blame game, start from today and just be grateful you found each other. The past is just that... passed. But the future, well, it's up to you to make it what you will. We'll keep a good thought for you, and you keep us posted, okay? Hugs.

Answer:
Even if he did give it to you, he could have had it long before you got together.

you need to talk to him about it. I know you feel that's easier said than done, but really without communication I can't see how this is going to get sorted.

Answer:
I really want to go get tested but.. all my cousins work at the clinic here in my hometown.. one does blood testing and 2 others are medical assistances:( I'd be too embarressed, I could however go to the next town and do it but, currently my car is broken and i use my moms, I don't have a job because the lady I cared for died a week ago! I'm soo stressed my mom would ask me where I was going and all.. then I have a 4 year old daughter.. I need to sit down and find somebody I can talk to or trust around here that can help me out. I'm not sure i'm ready to tell anybody my worries. I'M SO EMBARRESSED! I COULD JUST DIE! My best friend who is very premiscious just went in and got a pap and she came out normal.. <-- scary thought, that i'd have it and why couldnt she instead ( mean thought, I know!) maybe i'm just making excuses... tomorrow I should go ahead and call and get an apointment set up and worry about everything else later.

*** anyway talking about my premiscious friend brings up the conversation I had with my bf today. He despises my friends persay premisciousity, he thinks she's gross. I was telling him that she changed her ways and hasnt been sleeping around for quite a while now. he says " well maybe she got some sort of disease and changed her ways" oooooooooooooooOOP! I'm afraid he's gonna think I'm gross! Obviously I couldn't control whats happening to me.. not sure how its happend, I'm confused. I keep wondering if he has it and is in denial too. He is always up front and honest we have a great bond usually but I'm just afraid.. I wish I could be as bold as most of you!! I look around everyplace I know and count the people and think hmmm 1 in 5? ok who else has it in here!! its obsessive!! I wish I could think, well if he doesnt accept me then, it wasnt ment to be.. right? I cant think like that! not now anyway... there are so many people out there that make jokes about herpes, its unreal. I never have and I never thought it was funny. They make the commercials look so nice!!
I have a tendancy to ramble and my spelling is horrible so bare with me please.

oooooo then I was down by his house 2 weekends ago and I was sitting on the couch with him and a friend of ours was sitting on the recliner a valtrex comercial came on the television and his friend said " who would sleep with somebody that just said hey I have herpes", I sure wouldnt" My bf and I just sat there like uhhhhhhhhhh... neither of us said a word it was quiet!!! Makes me wonder..
Honestly I never thought about it before, I've never came accross it before (nobodys admitted anything) everybody I slept with I've dated for a long time! OOOOOOOO frusteration, anxiety is just rolling in my blood! Thats it I'm calling tomorrow!!!! Glad I have a place to talk now.. thanks guys!
I ramble a lot I know:) all apart of my personality I supose.

Answer:
In response to who gave it to who. If it were you would you want him to treat you any different. I am currently in the same position. I told him and he understood. I didn't blame him and he didn't blame me. We researched and concluded that there is no way to say who was the infector. Get tested, its gonna be hard. Respect and support each other thats the key. Good Luck!