Question:
and i know i'm not.....there are so many people out there in the same boat or worse so i feel a little whiny even posting this, but there are so many thoughts running thru my mind and i can't stop them.....i found out i was postive for both 1 and 2 on friday, went out that night and partied hard to try and forget and actually did for a little while, but then hibernated all weekend...flucuated between feeling totally useless to feeling strong and ready to face the world...such a roller coaster....woke up this morning crying again and i hate it!! my partner is riding his own roller coaster and dealing with an outbreak (his 1st) where i don't have one as of now and haven't that i'm aware of....i want to talk to him more about it rather than the few times we discussed online....i just want to talk to him in person and give him support and receive some support from him......it's hard for me to understand that after 9 mos of being together that he can just cut off from me so easily....we had something good going on and i just can help but feel we could help each other get through this initial adjustment of what we have.....i know deep down that time will help, but right now i just feel so alone.........

Answer:
im glad you realize your NOT alone. its scary and extremly emotional but i promise you will get through it. you have all of us here to vent to and to ask questions or just to talk. we all know how it feels to go through this. when i first came to this site i immeditalty started to feel a lot better knowing there are people who really understand. sometimes its hard to when you don't have it. i can remember hating everyone that had this (including myself) but they didn't hold it against me here. we're all really supportive and nice. if you need ANYTHING let me know. *Hugs*

Answer:
thanks 'living'......yesterday was a better day.....just submerged myself in work and came home to find your message and that lifted my spirits! Thank you so much.....I even feel a little better today than yesterday! Overslept though! Up late watching the redskins game : ) Thanks again and thank god for this forum!

Answer:
Glad you're feeling a little better, Isldgrl. It's a blow when you first find out, I know. You can expect some ups and downs for a while, but before long it will be a lot more ups than downs.

As for your partner, try to remember that, emotionally, this hits men just as hard as it does women, and depending on the individual, sometimes even harder. It could be that he's just having trouble adjusting, and needs more time. Sometimes when we're hurting, it's easier to withdraw than reach out. Give him some space, and keep the lines of communication open if you can. Maybe he'll come around. I hope so.

Answer:
Isldgrl,

Glad I could help lift your spirts. I did the same thing you did, just submersed myself into work. It helped me keep my mind off of everything. I knew I would have to face it at some point, but i was still in denial. Now i look at it and dont really think its that big of a deal. granted, i have my days where i just break down and dont think i can take it anymore, but then everyone does. I won't lie, its a big emotional strain at first so the emotional rollar coaster is pretty normal. (who's to say what normal anyways if 1 in 4 people have it. shouldn't that be "normal"??) Oh, and here's a tidbit that might make you feel better. 1 in 3 American's get some form of cancer a year. So those chances are more than those diagnoised with our Infection. Keep me posted on how the days are going and let me know if you need anything. :) HUGS

Answer:
big thanks to Living and Writer....your posts are so supportive! on the guy front..decided to just give him the space to process and recover, but also let him know i'm not going anywhere and when he's ready to communicate w/ me to let me know...if that never happens, i'm prepared for it....what will be, will be!

received my test results in the mail today and after reading other posts regarding results i'm even more confused....the dr. who tested me was not my regular one, so i think it might be in my best interest to contact the one who always seems to explain things to me much better than any doc i've ever had....will do that tomorrow! not that i'm in denial about being positive because of my guy's outbreak and the fact that i've had cold sores on and off my entire life, but i want to make sure i understand and do follow up testing if needed....

the only clear thing on my test was the culture being negative....but then if you don't have a visable outbreak how can they be sure of the swab they did? i mean it's almost like they need to swab the entire area and no exam of the rectal area (which could be a possibility i would think)....sooo i think it's best to recheck w/ her and if she doesn't help me i'm headed to the gyn as well:)

again i am so thankful for you all! i was going crazy this weekend and felt like there was no place to turn, but now i know that's not true....:)

Answer:
since you have had coldsores your whole life, that means you have had oral herpes your whole life and couldnt it be possible that you gave your guy genital herpes via oral sex from you........that would also explain why you have not had genital symptoms.........just a thought.What type did his blood test indicate? Also, you need blood tests specifically for herpes........culture can only tell you where it is, if you are lucky enough to get a positive reading, which more times than not gives a negative due to not enough virus being present, if any, at the time of the swab.