Question:
I'm guessing that I'm probably at the older end of contributors to this site- I'm 45. I've had roughly 30 something sexual partners throughout my life-I'd say this is pretty average given my generation.

I've never had an std, ever. I've been very, very lucky. I've never used condoms regularly, though I did talk about this with most of my partners.

I discovered that my current partner has been playing around this week-end. I was obviously prertty upset to have this confirmed-though not suprised to be truthful-I had been monitoring her web site history (ok- a bit naughty, but when you get suspicious, you kind of resort to doing things you wouldn't normally do).

Anyway, I noticed that she had visited various herpes webistes. I was convinced that this was work related research-she works in a drugs setting, so I assumed she was passing info on to drug users.

Anyway, we argued on Saturday night and I told her that I didn't trust her and suspected that she was seeing someone else, I added (more for effect really)that I had recieved a letter about Herpes. I was shocked when she told me that she had been to seek a diagnosis for herpes and that she may have been carrying it for years. She went on to add that she didn't think there ws any point in telling me as it hasn't been confirmed.

I have had several, what I now realise were. outbreaks- small blister on my penis. I know it's a bit stupid, but it never, ever occurred to me that I had an std. I thought it was a change of washing powder in the laundry or, well, I don;t know what really. I had just never had any experience of an std.

We kind of made up over the next 2 days, but I'm just feling totally betrayed by the revelation that I very obviously have herpes and that she has been seing soemone else.

The seeing someone else is the lesser thing realy-I'm pretty difficult to live with and haven't paid much attention to her the last few months. However, i am really hacked off about the std, she had no right to withold this from me, even if she only suspected it.

Not sure what to do now. It's certainly not easy to start over at 45.

Writing all this down may help.

Hi everyone out there, hope you feel beter than I do.

Answer:
I'm so sorry you had to find out this way, but we're here to help with anything you may need. At least you know now, and you can warn your future partners accordingly, as she refused to do for you.

Welcome to the forum. And, btw, i believe we have a good set of older posters!

Answer:
I'm on e of those older posters here also. Got you beat by four years! :D

It must have been hard to deal with things for you. I'm kind of at the other end of the spectrum and have hsv though my husband doesn't. It's been hell for us and still is. Nothing will ever be the same. Anyway, take care and if you ever need an ear we're obviously all here.

Answer:
SCREW THE BEEZY YOU DONT NEED HER ANYWAYS!

So, I'm only 20...I chose to sleep with a man who is 29, I now have herpes.

I trusted him, he competely betreyed the trust, and right after, RIGHT AFTER He found out I was positive he dropped me in the dust and got back with his baby's Mom [the whore who gave it to him to begin with though he won't admit it]. I found out she had it through contacting various people that she slept with when she was cheating on the man I started sleeping with.

I'm now left alone, by two people whom don't know how to raise children and have them in an unfit enviroment to keep them in.

There's no need to start over! Life still goes on. There is plenty of people around your age who have the same disease and they are still living their lives! If anything this is an excuse for some vacation time and relaxation :)

Answer:
even before i knew for sure ( confirmed) i told i suspected it, you cannot be too careful with someones elses well being especially if you love that person. I got cha beat on the age I am almost 50 and you have every right to be upset! go to the doctor. you can never be too honest ...no such thing... As it turns out my significant other has a grat deal of respect for me for having done the right thing. Our relationship is better than ever. I think it is because we are older and that changes things a bit