Question:
The fact that this forum gets so little activity (relative to the number of people who have herpes) would seem to say yes. I know everyone has oral herpes, but there are millions of people with genital herpes as well. Where is everyone. There are no support groups for herpes, or even generalized STD support groups in my city of Memphis, and it's driving me crazy. So many guys I know have had what could be minor OBs and assumed they were cuts, etc., without even going to get them checked. I'm sure at least a few of these guys were having OBs.

Sometimes I feel stupid for going to get mine swabbed. If I hadn't I would never know, and I would just assume they were razor bumps like everyone else. There would be no worry of disclosure, and I probably wouldn't end up infecting anyone anyway. I'm pretty sure most people freak out, go get swabbed, test positive, but then tell themselves 'I just tested negative. I just tested negative. Nothing to worry about.' because they'd rather not deal with the ramifications of having herpes. It seems so easy to tell myself I don't have it, that if I hadn't already told the person that I got it from I had it, I wonder if I would.

fear and loathing,
-live4themusic

Answer:
Just for clarification, not everyone has oral herpes. I have genital, but not oral myself. And there are tons of people who don't have either.

However, i agree with you about the denial thing. I know there are more than.. what? 4 people in Virginia who have herpes. I think some people just don't care. I have a friend who has a younger "brother" who is dating a woman with herpes. She freaked out when she found out that this knowledge hadn't been disclosed prior to sexual intercourse, despite her condition being common knowledge in her group of friends. Do you think a person like that would ever consider coming here? No, because she apparently doesn't think it's a big deal.

I know there are people here who say it's "not a big deal" and i agree ... as long as you take the responsibility that comes with knowing you have a contagious virus. It makes me sad and scared to think of the number of people who know but refuse to take that responsibility.

Answer:
whew, sigh of relief. I thought you were implying that those of us on this forum were in denial. And no I don't have oral herpes or coldsores and never heard or saw them until I was an adult. 70% of the population doesn't add up to 100%.

I think many of the participants on this forum came here because we've had an experience that was worse than the average person or we thought we'd been very responsible and had someone lie to us and we ended up with this virus. Being lied to or deceived can lead to some big time emotional responses to ob's not to mention those individuals who have a belief system about why people get sti's.

I also suspect that women are more pro-active about getting stuff examined than men since we usually have annual gynecological exams which encourages more testing for sti's.

I'd also assume that women often have a harder time with the ob's so it's less common to be able to ignore the symptoms.

Answer:
I obviously erred when I implied EVERYONE has oral herpes, but some stats I've seen have quoted 90%, and I believe that to be the case, since I don't see how you could avoid getting it unless you've never kissed someone who's had it, and, well, all but 10-30% have it. I got it from the first girl I kissed. Who hasn't played spin the bottle or made out with someone the day they met?

I was under the impression that the only people who DIDN'T have it were those who married their high school sweethearts and were each others' first everything, and those with some kind of immunity and resistance to the virus. Caliope and Catiesmom, how do you know you don't have it? Just because you have never seen symptoms does not mean you were not infected when you were younger. The only way I could imagine you could rule out having it was if you tested negative for both HSV1 and 2 with a blood test, and had not kissed anyone for 18 months prior to the blood test. If you have HSV1 OR 2, it's possible you also have that strain orally and just never had any symptoms, isn't it?

Answer:
Who hasn't played spin the bottle or made out with someone the day they met? "ME" I never did that even once. I got hsv2 from my ex husband after we were married for 10 years. He had an affair of some kind and that was all it took.

I will admit that I dated my current guy for 3 months and we never kissed or anything in all of that time but once we did we've been steady ever since. I hadn't dated anyone for over a year before I met him. I am rather careful and selective with my affections.

I agree that I could have contracted coldsores as a young person but I didn't. It took 10 years and many tests for the dr's to diagnose me with hsv.

I read the statistics to say that 70% (or more) of people from 12 years to octogenarians will contract it in their lifetime but I didn't think that your point was so much that everyone has coldsores as that many of the population is in denial.

I think that both catiesmom and I agreed with you on the denial part.

Answer:
I suppose it's possible i had HSV before contracting it genitally, but I doubt it given my personal circumstances. However, i have it now, so i suppose i'm currently in that 90%. Most of the time that statistic, btw, is the # of people who will contract it throughout their lifetime. Therefore, it's safe to say some people can wait until they're 60 and THEN contract it. It certainly doesn't mean we all contracted it at 16 playing spin the bottle. Makes my situation about normal. But at the same time, i wouldn't have gotten it if he hadn't been in the denial we all agree on. :)

Answer:
OMG!

:lol: I just had this flashback to an 8th grade party where we all played spin the bottle :lol:

I hadn't thought of that, or some of those people in years!!!

Thankfully I came away unscathed

Answer:
I do think most people have hsv1. I think most people with hsv1 will never have a cold sore. The person who gave me gshv1 never had a real cold sore, the kind people could identify. I had hsv1 IGG antibodies and never had a cold sore or anything even close. Also, most people get it via innocent ways. Religious virgins who have never been kissed can easily be seen with a big cold sore, so just imagine all the people who do not show signs of it.

Maybe not many people post because they aren't into the net. I know I use the net for the news, fashion blogs, and just about everything really. So of course, I use it for health stuff too. Maybe other people just are not the type to post on a board, regardless of the topic.

Answer:
After I was diagnosed in May 07, I found this board......looking and searching for something to prove that I did NOT have herpes. I was scared, in pain, alone and freaking out. I have not told a single person in my life, except for the dirtbag who gave this to me. He claimed he was clean, but I have a gut feeling, he knew he was infected. Oh well, that is all in the past. I thank God that I found this forum when I did, otherwise I do not know what I would have done or how I would have handled this. I have been very busy at work at in life, and have not had an OB since August (that was my second) ((knock wood)) LOUDLY! It is comforting to know that if and when I have an issue, a question, a concern, feel lonely etc. I can come here and find an answer.