Question:
I am 90% sure I have genital herpes, my blood test comes tomorrow. I am a 26 year old male who has dreams of getting married and having children however they are starting now to fade away. I almost feel guilty talking to women, and I can't look family members in the eyes. I think I got virus Thursday night by a girl who I have know for years, but haven't slept with in over a year. I have only told my father and he is very understanding, the whole situation is effecting my production at work and my self image. Please someone tell me it is going to be ok, and if it is not then don't lie. Thanks

Answer:
I'm going to be completely honest with you PS, because I think you want that. When I got it, the first outbreak sucked but it wasn't unbearable, and subsequent ones were pretty mild. I actually got a little cocky and thought " man this is NOTHING!!" because there really are a lot of things you could get that are worse.

Then I started getting more frequent MINOR symptoms (swelling, itching, very small sores) and I got scared because if I entered a relationship, I would have to abstain or wear a condom almost ALL THE TIME. it would suck for me - and what woman would want to do that? You'd be contagious almost all the time.

This gets better though. My doctor prescribed acyclovir three times a day - indefinitely. Three pills a day for life - BUT...it worked. I haven't had an outbreak since - knock wood.

Anyway as this applies to you...I can say there have been ups and downs but you CAN have a relationship and you CAN have kids. I think if you fall in love with a woman, and tell her, and she dumps you, she was the wrong woman. It implies sex is the only thing she wanted from you. And anyway, a normal sex life is very do-able.

Now I admit I haven't told any women yet. I'm dating a woman but haven't slept with her yet, but I'm pretty confident she will understand - as I say, you can have a perfectly normal sex life.

Now there is a chance you can pass it along without having symptoms, and you should tell the woman that. But that's rare, and falls into the "you could also get hit by a bus crossing the street" category.
A condom isn't 100% effective for AIDS and pregnancy either. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

I know this isn't a quick and easy feel good message, but I'm being honest right? I'll tell you how my relationship goes, if you tell me how you're handling it. If you're comfortable of course. It feels good to talk about it.

Answer:
It is bothersome and I can't help thinking how lucky for us that we don't even know who had it first. I am just trying to find out how to handle it. As I'm sure you know a huge percentage of the population has it, I don't even understand how we can not talk about openly it at all. i can't tell you that it's going to be allright because it hasn't been allright for us for years, It is horrible. But I am sure that there are ways to prevent the outbreaks and we are determined to find them. One thing I can tell you is that I have not had the thought of loving my boyfriend less or wishing to be with somebody else. Sure, if I could do it all over again, I would be a lot more cautious, but I would still want to be with him. Everybody gets their share, at least ours is not life-threatening.

Answer:
Im in the same boat as u, im 26 just got symptoms 5 months after the fact. I have a full time job and want to be married someday. The bitch who gave it to me knew she had it but didnt care about ruining my life. I will not ever do this to someone now that i no i have it. I only told my mother, shes the only i can tell, i live in a smaller city and people like to talk so if girls knew they wouldnt even speak to me anymore. This sux having to live a lie all ur life.

Answer:
You don't have to lie all your life.

You don't have to be alone all your life.

You can have a relationship.

All you want is one relationship isn't it - a long term one, full of love and mutual respect.

That'a all I want and I fully believe that I will have one.

Herpes is nothing more than a minor irritation.

It produces a sore that hurts for a little while.

It isn't life threatening and a huge proportion of the population have been exposed to the virus at some point in their lives.

Outbreaks are more about YOU than the fact that you have the virus.

Some people have the virus and are symptom free - they don't even know they have got it.

We don't ask people if they have cold sores before we kiss them.

All this pain and anguish is to do with the fact that we get these sores on our genitals through sexual activity - and morally, we don't know where we are with that.

That's the problem.

I have herpes. I am 38, mother of three and a widow. I am not worried about future relationships - I know that if I find someone that loves me for who I am the rest will follow.

Don't be scared, don't be angry. Be someone who someone else will love with all their heart.

Wishing you all well,

Alison