Question:
I am dating a girl and just found out she has oral herpes. What is my risk level? Cruel as it sounds, I would rather bail now than take a chance of getting an std.

She has an open sore in her mouth during outbreaks. Can it spread to genitals and thus be genital herpes, or is that a different disease entirely?

I have to know soon.

Answer:
Cruel as it sounds, I would rather bail now than take a chance of getting an std. Do her a favor, and bail now....


She has an open sore in her mouth during outbreaks. Can it spread to genitals and thus be genital herpes, or is that a different disease entirely? An open sore IS VERY likely to be spread to the genitals if she goes down on you WITH the open sore.

It is very likely that you will get a cold sore if you KISS her when she is having an outbreak...

WHEN SHE IS NOT having an outbreak, it is extremely unlikely that you will get hsv from her... but still possible...

If you don't care about her enough to accept that slight risk... Do her a favor, and bail now... (and tell her about this forum, so we can help her pick up the emotional pieces with her after you bail)

I'm not trying to sound like a dick... Well... actually I am...

A cold sore is SO not a big deal... But then again... to you, it sounds like it is... I mean I could understand if you wanted to wait to have oral sex until you were confident in the whole situation or know how much you cared about her, or something...

But to just bail on a girl because she has a cold sore... Come on dude... Give her a chance... Get to know her more, and if she's not worth it, she's not worth it, but if you are going to bail, at least bail for a substantial reason (like you don't like her) not for a silly reason (like a cold sore)

Anyway... Think about it....

Answer:
If you don't care about her enough to accept that slight risk... Do her a favor, and bail now... (and tell her about this forum, so we can help her pick up the emotional pieces with her after you bail) Once again, I'm on cue with Pilot -

However, I will say I appreciate your coming here to get some insight first. Some guys just plain quit with nothing said -

If you can't accept it, you can't. From my personal experience I will tell you - you will be a bigger man if you tell her you can't handle it - a much bigger man to deal with it, but if you're thinking of bailing now - "do her a favor" and definately tell her you did some searching here - and tell her to find us. As a woman who's been through it, I, personally, would appreciate your telling her why.

But first ask yourself what's worse?

"She has a cold sore"
- - or - -
"she has herpes"

Same thing, just took 3 more letters to type it.....

Good luck.

Answer:
Responses like wmh's make me feel so sad ... i cried when i read it. this past week, i almost convinced myself that most people wouldn't think cold sores were a big deal. but his post just brought the reality of rejection crashing down upon me once again ...

but i'm going to remember people like faith, pilot and lasmom are out there ... and i'm going to try to remember all the great stories of acceptance that have been posted.

that girl will probably feel so horrible if he decides to bail. i hope she finds this forum.

Answer:
i cried when i read it. this past week, i almost convinced myself that most people wouldn't think cold sores were a big deal. but his post just brought the reality of rejection crashing down upon me once again ... You have to be aware that there are people out there who are not accepting of any risk.... Who have different priorities then us.

I don't know wmh... so I'm not going to say he's a jerk, or whatever... Maybe he's just a paranoid guy that couldn't deal with the possibility of maybe getting hsv1 from someone...

BUT I DO KNOW FOR CERTAIN that he is the minority.... RARE minority....

Most people don't care at all about a cold sore.... Most people don't care about HSV2 either if they have ANY kind of feelings towards a potential partner...

Answer:
I couldn't be with Pilot or Lasmom more.

If you have to say that then SHE doesn't need to be with you.

She came out and said "hey I have oral herpes (cold sores)", which in reality she is a darling girl to say that. Most people don't tell that they have it because IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! It's a reality

If you don't realize what a catch she is then leave. No need to waste her time.

This won't stop me from thinking that there are good guys out there. I appreciate your honesty but I'm not worried that I will find someone to love me and then when I tell them love me even more. :D


No more hope- if you are thinking that you're feeling better. That was the first thing that gave me hope. I started thinking that it was possible- and I still think it is.
Lovely

Answer:
I just read this message and replys.. and i cannot agree with pilot and the other people more...

what a nice girl to tell you she has one... a brave one, honest one at that.. my advice.. you probably should see if its worth the risk.. if you don't want an STD... then be careful.. (you won't get burned if you don't play with fire) However you would be surprised how many of us has it.

For the other people (nomorehope), you will be surprised how many close minded, or should i say, ignorant people, there are in the world... Most people can't even see to the end of their nose, nevermind, being able to accept another persons Faults/ problems... I for one, could probably have been one of those, I guess, sometimes it is when they meet their misfortune they realize how lucky they are, and how ignorant they have been. People just don't realize how it is untill they walked in their shoes, and even if & when they do understand... >> they can not FULLY understand. But haven't most of us been down that road also?

I guess, to take the good, you will have to take the bad, there are those, bad people (close minded), and those who are quite understanding, but i think those who has seen misfortune, will have an open heart, and for those people who don't open their heart..in time they will... and i guess we should surround ourselves with those who are positive..

Most people can't even see past their own nose.. nevermind.. in time they will learn...

Nomorehope-- i feel for you, cause i have had the same problem, there are things you can't change... we can just surround ourselves with positive people, and let those other people learn for themselves (sometimes the hard way is their only way)... you cannot.. at least we cannot control how they view things/ life.

Ignorance = The blind
Ignore the "blind"

Thats how i feel anyways