Question:
hi guys. i think this is great site. and have recently found out that i have herpes. my first outbreak was when i was young, i was 22.

since then, i've taken numerous prescriptions of Valtrex.

i've since stopped taking it since 2002.

this is because i've run out of health insurance and have had to wing it.

the question i'm asking is, how will i know if i'm at risk to infect someone
if i dont have outbreaks? i've hadnt had an outbreak in two years, and i'm wondering. is this normal? can i only infect someone if i have an outbreak?

or am i at risk to infecting someone during oral sex?

i'm curious.

thanks.

Answer:
do you have it orally or genitally? what i understand is that like 80% of the population has it orally and doesn't have ob's. if you are in that group i suppose you just do your best and if you start getting a tingle on your lip don't kiss...you're probably used to that from when you had more frequent ob's. but in general, since so many people have it orally already i think you're pretty absolved of responsibility if you're not having an ob. most people already have resistance because they have it. there's the rare chance you might be shedding the virus and kiss someone who hasn't had it, but i don't know that that is a high enough risk that you should lose sleep over it.

now if you have it genitally, that's a little different because most people do not have it there and you are more of a loaded gun when it comes to transmitting it, even if you're not having an ob. the rule of thumb there is to always assume the worst on the behalf of your partner's safety - always assume you could give it to them and do as your conscience bids regarding disclosing it to them, minimizing risk if you do have sex, etc.

Answer:
oh yeah, and if you have it orally and are shedding but not having an ob, you CAN give them genital herpes so if I were you I would treat that less casually than kissing.

Answer:
thanks.

no to my knowledge, i dont have it orally. (but your %80 oral-no outbreak statistic just ruined my perception on things.)

i do have hit genitally, and havent had an outbreak for 2 years.
i'm at high risk regardless? even with a condom?

please help. so i should not be letting my partner give me roal sex even with no outbreak? even with a condom?

sorry for the confusion.

thanx.

Answer:
will the guest who posted the above responses please private message me? i'd like to talk to you! thanks!

sincerely,
no more hope

Answer:
oops - just saw what i wrote before. 80%/ no ob's isn't accurate. i believe around 80% has hsv-1 orally but a percentage of them do have ob's. sorry for the misrepresentation.

regarding your question, since you have it genitally you are at risk of transmitting it to your partner's mouth or genitals, potentially. it is my belief you have to assume it's possible at any point in time, since you could be shedding. it's up to you and your partner to talk about what risks you both are comfortable assuming here. like for me, i have hsv-1 genitally and rarely ever have symptoms. i told my bf who doesn't have it, and he decided he was ok accepting the risk, but naturally we have an understanding that i will let him know if i feel anything unusual going on down there...it's just all about communication. the biggest part of that communication has to be the fact that regardless of what we do, he may contract it. condoms help, but only if they cover the affected area and hsv can be kind of sneaky where it crops up.