Question:
ive talked to people that say u need to tell everyone uve been with...well what if u dont ever talk to the person anymore, or if u ended a relationship on bad terms? or if u dont even know how to contact them...i mean i just cant see callin someone up from years ago and sayin hey remember me? well i have herpes i just thought id give u a heads up!! i mean i dont even know who could have given this to me because ive talked to the 2 men ive been with in the past year or so and they dont have it...

Answer:
hey really worried,
i know what you mean, i don't think i'll ever know for sure who gave this to me, and it pisses me off but i'll have to get over it, you see, if i had got the symptoms 10 months ago it would had to be my first sex partner (i have type 1) but since then i've fooled around with a few guys one of which i can't even contact (we didn't have sex but skin contact may have been involved) i rung the others and they claim not to have it but when i asked one of these guys how many women he had slept with it was 15! (again no sex but may have had skin contact) he says he doesn't have it but FUCK how will i ever know! you'll just have to let it be....

Answer:
i know what u mean, i feel so pissed that i dont know who...cuz the minute u ask someone they say oh no i dont have that...then it pisses me off, one of the guys i was with told me he had been with like 70 some women! im like what the hell...if he doesnt have anything hes damn lucky...ive been with a lot less than that and look where i am :(

Answer:
These guys you've spoken to- have they been tested? I've seen different stats, but something like 80% of the people who have herpes don't even know it. These guys might think they don't have it, but if they've never had a huge OB (or even if they have- I have a friend who actually thought his first OB was poison ivy!) and they've never been tested they may not even know.

Answer:
one guy claims he has...but i think hes lying...but i guess i really dont have a way to find out though...do i?

Answer:
Unfortunately, no. :-( I know it's super frustrating.

The guy who I think gave it to me (I'm 95% sure...) won't even talk to me anymore. He stopped calling me before I had a chance to tell him, and I didn't want to tell him on his email since it's his work email. I emailed him to tell him I needed to talk to him and he said he'd call, but... nope. So I ended up leaving him a voice mail message to tell him. :? He never called me so I didn't get to find out if he's been tested or would be tested....

I wish I knew 100%... but there's nothing I can do. *sigh*

Answer:
lets say that all of you knew who gave you herpes...would that change anything? i am male and do not know where i contracted herpes; but then again it does not matter to me. who gave it to me is not the issue as knowing will not take it away. i concentrate now on educating myself about the disease and helping others cope with the mental anxiety which in my experience is far worse than the physical pain.

Answer:
If I knew that this particular guy definitely didn't have it, then I would make sure to go backwards and let the last guy I was with know about it. As the original poster said, it's difficult to know who to tell, but at least that would have given me some guideline.

There's other stuff involved, but I won't go into it here. My therapist and I are already dealing with it! ;)