Question:
I met a woman about a month ago and really like her. She revealed to me that she had genital herpes shortly after we began talking. I have been researching and haven’t found what I am looking for yet. Here is the deal. She contracted it about 2 years ago. She never knew she even had it until she went to her doctor for a routine check up etc. She takes medication for it twice a day now. She claims to have never had an outbreak. I have read that you do have sex you should always wear protection. No problem there. I also understand the you can get it through “shedding” even if she shows no signs of an outbreak. I read about foam that kills the virus that you can use during sex. What is it? Also what about oral sex? If she shows no signs of an outbreak can I perform oral sex? Sorry for jumping into this but I really need some answers. Thanks in advance.

Answer:
ok, im not sure about a foam.....never heard of that before. As far as everything else goes......

when she does not show any signs of an outbreak, she can still be shedding the virus some of the time....when that is you will never be able to tell....

The deal with oral sex is that she can perform oral sex on you anytime and you will never be at risk for getting herpes(however, once you start having genital sex with her there is a small chance she can pass it to you genitally unknowingly and then she would be at a small risk of getting it in her mouth from your genital infection from then on if she were to continue giving you oral sex(all hypothetical of course.....worst case scenario kind of thing)

in terms of you giving her oral sex when she does not have symptoms: there is a small risk involved in that you could acquire oral herpes as a result, assuming she has hsv2, then you would acquire hsv type 2 orally, usually producing coldsores and sometimes the infection wont ever be visible but you can still spread the disease from the oral region unknowingly, especially if you never see symptoms orally on yourself and assume you havent contracted it, you can still transmit it from your mouth randomly without realizing it.

I hope this helps a bit.......any more questions feel free to ask.

Answer:
I feel a little better but I have to admit I am still nervous about the risk. What are the odds of me getting it?

Answer:
I believe the theory is if you avoid sexual relations when she has symptoms of an outbreak, during an outbreak, and for a week or two afterwards, your chances of contracting the virus are about 4% (which is the amount we believe viral shedding occurs). However, the fact that she hasn't had an OB, that she's on suppressant therapy, and that you'd be using a condom (and hopefully washing up after sex) all contribute to lower that risk even further. I don't know that any of us could say that you WILL NOT get it, or give you a time period in which you will be "safe", but your odds are low.

Answer:
I would want to know how she was diagnosed as having genital herpes if she has never had an outbreak.

If she had a random blood test for herpes and it detected either hsv1 or hsv2 it still cannot definitively say where the infection is located without the symptoms of an ob.

If she had a swab culture of a questionable rash etc. then this would be an outbreak and would infact show the location of the infection in question.

Hsv1 is commonly considered to be coldsores or fever blisters but it can also be a genital infection.

Hsv2 is commonly considered to be a genital infection but it can also be an oral infection.

Answer:
She went to her gynecologist for the yearly check up. They took a pap smear and later told her that she had HSV-2 Herpies.