Question:
Hi there ladys,
This question is for all the mothers hsv 2.
Let me give you some back round on me. I am now 7 1/2 months pregnant.
I found out i was psotive at about 5months pregnant. I am on suppressive therapy but I havent really been taking it devotedly till about a week ago because of funds I wanted to make sure I had enough valtex for my last 6 weeks of pregnancy.
Eitherway, I was diagnosed by my MID-WIFE not my DOCTOR. My Dr, who refused to do a blood test on me would have delivered my baby with out checking me thoroughly.
SInce my diagnoses I have been really close to my mid -wife ( who will not be delivering my baby ). She really comforts me and takes time to talk to me. I confrated her and said why did you give me a blood test and MY dr wouldnt, what If I hadnt found out becuase he refused to test me ?? I cant belive he would risk my baby like that.
So from there on you could Imagine how much I hated my DOCTOR.
So here is the Juicy stuff.
I had my second visit with my DOCTOR who will be delivering my baby yesterday. I was so anxious to discuss my birth plan with him and get some re assurance that every thing was fine.
so here is a script of how my appointment went:
He walks in the room and the first thing he says is " YOU'VE GOT TO STOP GAINING WEIGHT".
I paused and felt alittle ofended but i let it slide. ( mind you I hate him now, and he is no by no means a humorus guy so he wasnt joking)

I than ask him if I could discuss myu birth plan with him since I was diagnosed with HSV 2 (ME LETTING HIM KNOW THAT HE WAS WRONG BY NOT TESTING ME ).
Without even so much as looking up at me, he continues to write something in my chart and reply's "sure go ahead discuss"

Son me nervous that he isnt going to answer any of my questions, I proceed..I say " Dr. I've read on the in ternet that scalp monitors are not safe for hsv moms. I have heard it can cause puncture wounds in the babys head allowing the virus to enter I think we should use it, or any other tools like vacumms"

This a**hole replys, " I can't believe you want to risk your babys life. This toold are intended to help you not hurt you. I wouldnt put something on the baby to hurt Him. He goes on about how Im inconviencing his staff and Im wrong to even suggest such a thing. AND THAT I OFFENDED HIM.

by now this jerk is YELLING, and Im fighting back my tears because im scared to death.

He refuses to schedule a c-section, he says no it isnt nessacery.
so Im even more scared.

I reply back to this Dr ( Im fighting tears and bighting my toungue )
Dr. This was something i read, and it scared me I just wanted to talk about it.

he reply's : NO, YOU DIDNT!! YOU DIDNT READ THAT ANY WHERE.
I say "yes, ont he internet"

he says no one on the internet says that either ( like Im f*cking lieng about it). He says wha you read a stupid bloggers idea of a safe delivery and now your scared ?????

I cut the whole thing short and ask for him to talk to my insurance about my valtrex since they arent goingto cover it any more and say I got to go.

he agrees and lets me out.

Now, here is my questions:
1. Should I blast this son of a b*tch for making me even more paranoid since im the first hsv mom he is dealing with and take matters into my own hands ?

2.should i persist on no scalp monitors ?
3.Are they any real studies done on these monitors that i can print out and show this son of a gun that he's wrong ?
4. what should I do , I hate his guts !!!!!

Answer:
Sorry for All the type o's. I noticed that i had mentioned in the scalp monitor portion of me message that i said i wanted to use tools, i ment I DONT WANT TO..so just clarifying that..

Answer:
That's awful! Is there ANY way to get a different doctor? A doctor who blasts you for asking questions and being concerned is NOT the kind of person i'd want in the room when i'm giving birth, especially if you've got HSV concerns!!! Geezus, i'm sorry FOR you.

I don't have much advice about the birthing thing cause i got HSV after i had Catie, but i hope it works out well, and i SINCERELY hope you can get a better doctor!!! Please let us know, k?

Answer:
Did you see "Knocked UP"? The couple in the film spent a lot of time interviewing OBGYN's until they found one they were comfortable with.

A dr. is someone you hire to perform a service for you. Even if you have insurance you should be able to change to a different dr if you do not feel that you are getting the care you think you should be receiving.

It is late in the game and if you do not want this dr to deliver your baby you should get proactive about finding another. This is your baby's health here and it is within your power to request that the best care be provided.

I would approach a new dr with finding out if they have delivered baby's to mom's who are hsv positive. (Interview a few on the phone if you can or talk to their assistants.) If you know someone else who has been in this situation ask for their advice. Perhaps do some research to find an OBGYN that has knowledge and experience with this situation. Maybe your midwife can make a suggestion.

No one wants to be disregarded or insulted. Dr's and patients both want to be respected and listened to. I find it works best to try to avoid emotional discussions and stick to facts. Write down your list of concerns and requests and be sure to address them with anyone you consider to employ for the birth. Some information on the internet is questionable but not all and you should be able to voice your concerns.

It's a good point about the scalp monitor's. If you have an active ob you would perhaps not feel safe with this procedure. I don't know that it is necessary but it could be a helpful procedure for some moms. If you have a c-section I don't know why you'd have the scalp monitor at all?

I wouldn't want this dr to deliver my baby. You don't need hostility in the delivery room whether it come from you or the dr. It should be as stress free as possible.

Is this your first baby?

Answer:
Yes this is my first baby. Im 22 years old and didnt find out I had hsv till i was 5 months pregnant. Im really scared and alone. I never knew I was allowed to interview my Dr before Hiring them. and to be honest with you it wouldnt make to much differnce, since there are only to baby dr in the town i live in and the Doctor i have excepts my insurance where as the other one doesnt. My mid wife is a sweet heart but she told me she doesnt deliver babys. but I will voice my concerns to her. What I really care about is if the use of any tools really do add a reason for concern. I would like to hear someone that has had a vaginal delivery and used tools to deliver.
IM SCARED ...please any more advice helps !!!!!

Answer:
I would seriously consider a dr in a nearby town if this situation cannot be resolved.

I can understand your concerns about the insurance but if you let these obstacles stand in between you and finding another dr that might be less convenient you are limiting your options.

If this dr knows you have no options this might account for his arrogance but it is not a way to provide good care to his patients.

Have you told him that you'd like a referral to another dr?

Answer:
no i havent mentioned it, but do you think this ass hole would really refer me to another Doctor he wont even talk to me like a human let alone to me any favors...Im scared ..Im leaving after the first of the year to my mom in florida for a visit , if all goes well I plan on going to the hospital my sister delivered in the dr's are christians and really kind..Please pray I get stuck in florida long enought to have this baby LOL
my better half and I really dont have enough money to stay longer than 2 weeks, but If he finds work there he mioght conisider staying to have the baby...please keep me in prayer

Answer:
I'm sorry your doctor is a prick. I havn't had a baby but know some facfts you might find useful.

1) you DONT need a scalp monitor. They can use an external feteus monitor. Stand your ground with this one. It really isnt necessary, unless it is an extreme medical emergancy (by which point you won't be worrying about herpes!)

2) A cesarian is not necessary either. It is advised if you have an OB at the time of established labour, but otherwise a vaginal birth is considered safe. Its common practise in the UK for mums with hsv-2 to have a vaginal birth, as the transition rate is REALLY low and it is far riskier for YOU to have a C section than it is for the child to catch hsv

3) it is most important to take suppresive therapy for 2 weeks before you go into labour. I'd lay off the valtrex till you are 36 weeks, might save you some money.

Hope this helps!

Answer:
Although we're about the same age, I can't imagine being in an emotional situation like yours. After reading your posts, I'm going to give a bit of tough love in hopes that you'll listen.

There's no doubt your doctor is a negligent prick and has no business being employed to care for your or your child. That being said though, you seem to have a victim complex and are just coming up with excuses why you're stuck where you are and there's nothing you can do.

I do that myself all the time, so trust me, this is the pot calling the kettle black. But, the bottom line is that insurances have plenty of doctors that take their policies and sometimes you need to drive out for a decent doctor. I live in a small town myself, and if I were to become pregnant, I too would have to drive out about an hour to a respectable doctor with experience in an hsv mother's birth.

You NEED to get proactive in getting a new doctor. Look at the back of your insurance card and call the number for a list of obgyns, most insurance companies even have websites where you can sort out by distance and specialty. Make an appointment and notify the insurance company, it's within your right to file a complaint against the doctor as well. Honestly, although I'd love to punch your doctor in the face, there is no one to blame but yourself if you don't take the steps to go to someone else.