Question:
I found out I have herpes like a year ago. It came righ out of the blue, no warning. The doctors were totally useless in educating me on anything so I've been trying to learn what I can on my own.

I'm really unclear on how long it can be in your body before an OB or a diagnosis. For example, could I have contracted it as a child or at birth from a parent or family member and it never showed up until later in life? My grandmother had shingles, isn't that related? I think my mom has cold sores too. Hmm.

I had been sexually active with a new partner for about 3 months when I had my first (really bad, really painful) OB, but my boyfriend never showed any signs. He got a blood test and it came up negative. We've been dating for more than a year, and we continue to have safe sex, and he continues to show no signs. Could I still have gotten it from him?

The last time I slept with anyone before that was about 7 months previous. And he wasn't really a 'boyfriend.' For all I know he was sleeping with other women at the time. Could it have come from him?

My last question is, could it have come from a non-sexual contact with another person? I share a bathroom with a highly sexually active roommate, and wonder if it could have come from the toilet seat or a towel, or whatever. Is it also possible to get it from a totally unknown source? What are the odds?

Any replies would be helpful. Thanks for listening!

Answer:
Those are really good questions! I have asked those myself. The best thing to do is research. The more you know, the better you can feel about the situation. The one thing I realized real soon after being diagnosed was, no matter if I found out exactly where I recieved the virus it's not going to change anything.

I too share a bathroom. I just started going in the gym shower after a year of working out there and soon after I was diagnosed. I had several symptoms long before my first OB, how long has it been?

Sometimes I feel really frustrated that I don't know the answers and that I might never find them. But one thing that I am thankful for is that the strength this has given me in general and the things I am learning about myself and others through this experience.

Here's a good site,

http://www.herpes.com/index.html

~B