Question:
I have never had cold sores. But a few weeks ago I did have a red painful bump close to my lip. Looking back it was most likely just a zit (it didn't look like anything I've heard about cold sores) but you can't really be sure. Nevertheless, I went to my doctor and asked him to test me for herpes simplex. He refused, saying that more than 99 percent of the population has herpes simplex I, so testing is useless. And because my mother has cold sores, he knows for sure that I'm infected too.
He also told me that you can only transmit herpes when the cold sore is in the blister stage, so kissing and oral sex is safe when you don't have a sore. And he says that you can't infect your eyes, because that's a different kind of herpes (herpes zoster).

But this contradicts everything I've read on the internet! How am I supposed to trust doctors when they don't know what they're talking about! Is he right about 99 percent of people having it? If so, then my boyfriend must have it too (even though he's also never had a cold sore). How likely is that we give each other genital herpes through oral sex? I feel as though I'll never be able to enjoy oral sex now, worrying every time that I might have gotten genital herpes, or given it to my boyfriend. And if so many people have HSV I, how come not more people have genital herpes because of oral sex?

Answer:
Hi lietchi,

Mmm... I'm pretty sure it's 80 - 85 % of the population that have cold sores. That's what a few doctors have told me. Its not 99%.

Go to another doctor and I'm sure he will test you for HSV 1 and 2. Before you do this just know that some people have HSV 2 and don't know it. So make sure you are ready for the results.

Some people don't have herpes at all so it's worth getting the test. Then you can have peace of mind that you won't give it to your boyfriend. He should get tested as well by the way. If you have the information it's a lot easier not to transmit the virus.

I'm not a doctor but as far as I know you can infect your eyes from a cold sore on your mouth and your genitals. In terms of transmission, yes you can transmit it when there's a blister, but also just before it forms and after the blister has scabbed. So if you have a tingle or it feels hot on your mouth before the blister appears. I also thought you could transmit it during asymtomatic shedding of the virus a few days of the year ie when you have no symptoms. However, I think this is rare as most people on here that got it from oral sex say that their partner had a cold sore at the time.

I think it's about 10% of people that have HSV 1 genitally but the figure has risen in the last 10 years because of the popularity of oral sex. I've got HSV 1 genitally and I got it from protected sex so it's obviously on the rise!

All you can do is have the type specific tests (Western Blot test only. The other tests just aren't accurate take it from me). It costs about $100 and you can get it from Seattle. Make sure you don't have oral sex when you have a cold sore or if you feel one coming on. Really, that's all you can do. There's no point having oral sex if you're going to stress about it each time. If you do have HSV 1 orally or your boyfriend and you really are afraid of getting genital herpes maybe just take oral sex off the list.

Hope this helps,

Laney :wink:

Answer:
thanks Laney :)

Well, I don't live in the States, so I don't think I'll send a blood sample to Seatle :) I actually live in Europe so I don't know what tests there are here. I do know that my boyfriend got tested for HSV2, so there must be type-specific tests around. As for the price: don't know, our health care system takes care of that, so we never pay the full price...
I'm not too sure if my boyfriend is willing to take a HSV1 test, he thinks I'm worrying to much about herpes... But if I look deeply into his eyes and tell him that I love him he'll probably agree :)

I thought asymptomatic shedding happened a lot more than just a few days a year (but then again, stats on herpes infection vary greatly too...)
I'm hoping either both of us have HSV1, or neither of us...
And then there's that slim chance that I already have HSV1 genitally (asymptomatically) through self-inoculation or through my boyfriend. Not too sure what to do about that one...
Likelihood is that I do have HSV1 though, as my mother has had cold sores since before my birth.

And how do I get tested without telling my parents? They still pay for my healthcare (I'm not insured for myself yet). Presumably, if I get tested they will get the bill...

Answer:
anyone else with advice???

Answer:
Hi Lietchi,

That's okay...

You should be able to get a Western Blot test in Europe. I got one in Australia and it was sent to Seattle apparently.

If your boyfriend had a tests for HSV 2, I'm sure he also had one for HSV 1 as well. Usually the type specific tests are done for both at the same time.

As for the stat on asymptomatic shedding. They keep saying 3 to 4 days but they never say over which period. So it could be a year, a month or a week. I've interpreted it as a year, but maybe I'm wrong.

So you want the test but you don't want it to appear on your parent's bill? There must be a way around this. I don't know the health system over there (except it's very expensive!) but you could explain to the doctor's receptionist that you don't want it on your parent's bill and pay cash. Or go to an STD clinic where it may be seperate. If you go to the STD clinic they will not test you based on the fact that you just want to know if you have coldsores or not. You would have to say you had some symptoms of herpes and say you want a Western Blot test.

Laney :)

Answer:
If your mom gets cold sores, then she won't be scandalized by you wanting to know for sure (by testing) if you have the HSV1 virus too. Just say you want to know, because your boyfriend doesn't get cold sores, and you're both going to get tested for both your peace of mind. I don't think she'll bug out. Cold sores are a euphemism for herpes to the point that my own mom would drop dead of shock if I told her I had herpes, so I say I have cold sores and she doesn't bat an eye. Funny, huh?

Answer:
Well, my mom thought I was overly concerned about my (supposed) cold sore and accused me of turning into a hypochondriac. I don't think she sees cold sores as big enough of a deal to actually get tested for (especially if it'll cost money). She figures that the less time someone spends thinking about their health, the better. Ignorance is bliss, yeah right...

Answer:
I can't make the poll thingy work, but I got genital HSV I from receiving oral sex from an asymptomatic woman. She said that she gets a lot of cold sores and knows to not engage in fellatio when she has sores, but says she didn't have any on that dark day when the deed was done.