Question:
Hi!
I am a little bit concerned and would appreciate your help on this matter.
Yesterday I slept with a woman that told me that has genital herpes.
When we were just foreplaying, she wanted to be honest and told me about her condition. She said that her herpes only breakout one or twice a year.
But before telling me about her herpes, I had given a few kisses outisde her genitals, more on the outside part and clitoris.
So, that's one of my worries. Getting herpes on my mouth.
Of course we had sex with a condom, but I am still worried about getting herpes, cause I just read that a condom won't prevent transmission.
Also, I fingered her, and I am worried that in a certain point I could have hold my genital or even brought my fingers in my mouth.
How concerned should I be in relation to each of the things that happened?
She was probably not on a breakout right now, or she would have told me, as she was being honest with me.
Anyway,
Is there anything I can do now, since it was less than 48 hours ago, to prevent herpes?

Also, I like the girl. But I am thinking about not sleeping with her again because of her condition. I know it's wrong, but I get too paranoid about that.

Please, I appreciate your help.
Thanks a lot,
Yan

Answer:
Hi Skuba,
Saw your post which you did so long ago. Sad to know that this board
is kinda quiet.

Anyway, I would just like to help you in case you still need an answer.

Yes, all the scenarios you mentioned can lead to infection, even when there is no lesions in your gf. Reason is hsv is very contagious. So, even if a condom is used, there is no 100% prevention as your hands/fingers can pass it.

I understand that being on suppressive therapy helps to reduce to 1% chance of viral shedding w/o symptom.

You're not alone. 80% of U.S population has it and are constantly infecting someone else. Many having it are unaware they have it due to never experiencing an outbreak. Sad thing about understanding what hsv is is that one's sex-drive is lowered. But the plus is that you know you need to protect your partner. The good thing about not knowing is that you can live as normal person until you experience a lesion.


We can only hope for a cure before we are old and sick.

Samson

Answer:
I would also ask her how she is treating herself. Is she on a suppresive therapy regime or does she treat herself as needed. That may play a part on the chances of being infected by viral shedding ( comes before the actual lesion).

How is your relationship with her now?? Have you progressed intimately, or has it really been too hard for you??

Answer:
Hi!
I am a little bit concerned and would appreciate your help on this matter.
Yesterday I slept with a woman that told me that has genital herpes.
When we were just foreplaying, she wanted to be honest and told me about her condition. She said that her herpes only breakout one or twice a year.
But before telling me about her herpes, I had given a few kisses outisde her genitals, more on the outside part and clitoris.
So, that's one of my worries. Getting herpes on my mouth.
Of course we had sex with a condom, but I am still worried about getting herpes, cause I just read that a condom won't prevent transmission.
Also, I fingered her, and I am worried that in a certain point I could have hold my genital or even brought my fingers in my mouth.
How concerned should I be in relation to each of the things that happened?
She was probably not on a breakout right now, or she would have told me, as she was being honest with me.
Anyway,
Is there anything I can do now, since it was less than 48 hours ago, to prevent herpes?

Also, I like the girl. But I am thinking about not sleeping with her again because of her condition. I know it's wrong, but I get too paranoid about that.

Please, I appreciate your help.
Thanks a lot,
Yan Hello Yan,

Hope you were able to sort things out. My advice to you is take the time to get to know her if you like the girl - Taking a step back and smelling the roses never hurted anyone. Get informed on the subject before turning away. Many people with HSV who are with non-infected partners never transmitt the virus to their partners. Fact - There are two types of herpes; HSV1, typically the cold sore kind and HSV2, the genital kind. Using a condom reduces one's chance of getting it from asymptomatic shedding. Medication now exists, that she might be already taking for the shedding but no one will guarantee that there is zero risk. The ironic thing is that, statistically speaking, you would be safer with her on suppressive therapy than being intimate with four other women.

Chris