Question:
I'm a sixteen year old student that attends high school. I'm very strong on religion and my morals. My plan for my future was to get married as a virgin not because of church but because of a choice. All that failed because of my best friends brother. I was raped when i was 15. I thought my whole life was over. I had a crush on this guy for years so i guess he assumed that he could do what he did. i never told my mother or for that matter anyone, i was scared. A few weeks later my friend tells me that her brother had the sex talk with her and said he told her that he had HERPES. That's when I became really scared. I was wasn't only scared, I was angry, upset, and mad. I wondered why a 21 year old would want to give a child an STD or how anyone could pass it on knowing that they had it. I started to notice little bumps on my vagina almost looking like whiteheads or zits and a itching, and burning sinsation. I hadn't really thought about it because it hurt me to think about it. So i went on with my life as if there was nothing wrong with me. I started looking up information on line about herpes and the signs of herpes and i had most of the signs like back pain, strong pains in my knees, flu like fevers but still never went to get tested. My mother still has no idea, no one does except him. I don't even know how to bring it up with her, she and I aren't very close. I feel like my life is over, my childhood, my dreams of being able to enjoy a sexual relationship, everything. Till this day i still haven't been tested. And the more i think about it, the more i recieve information, the more i want to get tested, i guess my fear is that i actually have it and not being tested is given me that feeling that i don't have it because i haven't had a doctor actually say i do. i just want to know that i will be okay and will be able to enjoy sex some day and that maybe someone will want to marry me knowing that i have an STD. I want to know that it's possible to bring a child in this world and not pas s this on to him/her.Someone, anyone shine a light on me PLEASE. thank you! :( :? :x :cry: :evil:

Answer:
Hey Hun
I am a 20 year old girl and I know what you're going through. I have strong beliefs and wanted to wait till marriage too. It didnt happen that way as I got "caught up in the moment." I contracted herpes and ever since my life has changed. Let me say that I also have been a vitim of sexual abuse and I know how you feel about not wanting to tell anyone. The best thing to do is telly our mom. She will understand that it's not your fault that you had sex. In God's eyes, you are still a virgin. Let me re-assure you that someday you will be able to enjoy sex. I didn't think I would ever find a man who would marry me with this awful disease. Well I'm not engaged, but I have a wonderful boyfriend who knows all about my disease and loves me anyways. God has the perfect guy picked out for you who will love you for who you are not what you have. If you feel like talking my e-mail is bgale@bridgew.edu. I'm a realyl good listener and it sounds like we have a lot in common. Talk to you soon!

Answer:
Hey there, I just got this 6 months ago and have found an awesome guy who knows about it and loves me anyway. I am not so religious and I've had sex with several guys over the course of my life so I can't speak to the virginity and what not, but I think that if you did not willingly engage in sex with this guy then you are a virgin in Gods eyes.

Regarding everything else, I think you should tell someone, if you can't tell your mom or don't want to, perhaps you can tell your pastor? or someone else that you trust. Definitely go get tested before telling people you have herpes, you might not have it, you might be creating symptoms because you are distressed. But definitely tell someone about the rape and get some help or mental counseling, that stuff can eat you up. What that guy did is disgusting and aweful, he took something from you that no one should and has altered your sense of self. That is NOT okay. He should be punished and others spared this tragedy.

I am truely sorry for your situation, but I feel that you will be fine and that being a person in the church you are probably much more apt to find someone that will love you for you without the pressures of sex before love.

cosmic :-)

Answer:
Hi 18,

First, It is not your fault this adult took full advantage of a minor. I know if you tell your mother(because I am one) she'll make sure this person will get what's coming to him. I don't care if you had a crush on him or not HE knows you are just a kid. You said you and your mom don't get along, she's a woman and regardless of all the neg emotions you are still her daughter. I always tell my girls NEVER feel you can't tell me anything. This situation may actually bring you and your mom closer. Also, you need to see a doctor, don't be afraid, it may be nothing. Please do not feel you did anything wrong even if you consented to it you are under 18, and I don't care what state your from that's st. rape.