Question:
I am in a lesbian relationship and my girlfriend and I just found out yesterday that she has herpes. She went to the doctor because of a rash on her thigh, and swelling in her pevic area that we thought was a reaction to bug bites or something. We are both shocked and have so many questions. I'm going to get tested in the next couple of days as we both have no idea how in the world she got this. We are in a commited relationship and have only been with each other sexually for over a year. I'm worried that somehow I've had herpes and never had any signs and given it to her, or visa versa. Regardless we are staying together and I really don't want things to change. She only has the rash on her thigh and it is only small bumps...

1) Will she have outbreaks other places and will it get worse?

2) Can it spread to me, assuming I don't have it already, through kissing? Cuddling? We sleep very tangled up with each other.

3) Once the rash is gone will we always have to use protection? (ugggg)

4) If I do find out I have it as well, can we have unprotected oral sex when there are no signs of an outbreak?

I really don't want our sex life to change, I am happier than I have ever been in my life and don't want this to change everything between us.

Any and all advice is appreciated.

Thanks so much.

Answer:
I contracted herpes from a cold sore on my husband lip 5 years ago during oral sex. He's yet to contract it genitally from me, and our sex life has not changed a bit. We dont use protection, we have an active sex life, both intercourse and oral. Yes there is a possibility that you may get it one day, its one of those things you either accept the risk or dont and move on. People with hsv shed viral cells 4% of the time, so 4% of the time, reguardless of being broke out, she is going to be contagious. The key is to just use common sense, if she's feeling itchy or red or irritated in the area, dont have sex. Some people, like me, have a mild case, I break out with one or two bumbs every few years, very mild and not a big deal. Some people have it very very bad....seeing that she just gets a small rash she's probubly not going to have a serious problem with it. Now weather or not it will get worse or better, seems to be with me and 95 perecent of the people that contract it..it always gets better. The time span between outbreaks gets longer, the severity of the outbreaks is less..it almost never gets worse. She might not break out in the same spot each time..it could be around her vaginal area one time, then near her anal area the next..its a weird virus.
If you come to find out that you also have it, assuming its the same strain of virus...type 1 or 2, then neither of you have any worries because you already both have it.
Hope that helps you..rather vague answers and I'm sorry but its early and i stayed up late last night. LOL :shock:

Answer:
Thank you so very much, actually you made me feel much better. This is a scary time for us rignt now as we have so much more information to absorb. I'm going to read, read, read and ask lots of questions so I can be as informed as possible. :D

Answer:
Did you ever find out if the rash was related to herpes? My partner (who has not been tested) has a rash on his leg and I have HSV2. We don't know he has it, but I suspect he gave it to me for various reasons.