Question:
ok i dont think i have herpes, i have a reoccurring yeast infection which i suspected of being herpes but i had a blood test done and it came back negative. Im actually getting another one done now out of sheer paranoia as i thought maybe the first one was too soon after the possible infection date.
Since finding out about herpes and realizing that cold sores are in fact herpes ive become really paranoid about it. I look at my self constantly examing any red mark or acne type blemishes and getting worried about it.
Recently i noticed what looked like a cold sore on my mums lips, this was just after i gave her a hug and let her kiss me on the cheek as she was feeling down. i asked her about it and she just said oh its just a cold sore its going away now. And immediately i started to freak out secretly in my head but couldn't let it show. She obviously didn't know the significance of it and i didnt feel like i could tell her as she has enough to worry about anyway. Plus i feel like her actualy knowing what cold sores are would only get her down and it doesnt really matter that she gets them. My mum and dad have been together for 30 years so theres no chance of her giving it to other people except possibly me! lol and the worry of spreading it would just probably get her and my dad down and paranoid like i am, an they seem to be doing ok anyway so in her case i feel like ignorance is bliss.
Although she tried to kiss me again near the end of the talk and i ducked out and she looked at me a bit shocked but i just laughed it off.
My question would be do you think i'm right not to tell my mum what cold sores means and that i don't want her to possibly give it to me. Or should i go on trying to duck out of her kisses lol.
Also am i just getting way to paranoid about the herpes virus i should not let the fear control my life so much and just be more laid back because so many people have it its just normal really.
I'm sorry if any of this offends people.

A J Pennypacker III

:rolleyes:

Answer:
I gather from your post that your mother is at least middle aged, right? So, chances are, if she gets cold sores, this is not her first one, also right? I'm also guessing that you're no longer a child, but a young adult. Sooo... how many times has your mother kissed you in your lifetime? Do you get cold sores? I'd wager that letting her give you a peck on the cheek after all these years won't kill you.

As for telling her that she has herpes, probably not a great idea, but it wouldn't hurt to casually mention to her that her cold sores could be contagious, and she should practice caution about kissing strangers or children. After 30 years, there's no point in telling her not to kiss your dad. It's a moot point.

It's up to you, but if it was my mother, I'd have to let her kiss me rather than hurt her feelings. I'm sure there are those on this site who would disgree with me about that, but she's been kissing you all your life. If she was going to pass it on to you, I think it would have happened by now. Besides, she's your mum. We don't get to keep our parents forever. Don't let your fears make you do something you may regret years down the road.

Answer:
Oh my Gosh! You sound just like me with the paranoia. I've so far had a negative swab & a negative blood test & I'm stilll not sure 100% that I don't have it. I keep going to doctors & telling them theres something there & they tell me they don't see anything to swab. I am going to have another blood test in a month (6 months after exposure) because I don't trust the one I had at 16 weeks post.
I am also really paranoid about people with cold sores now. A girl I went to school with has them. The last time I saw her (a couple weeks ago) she leaned forward to kiss me on the cheek & I just kept moving forward & kind of bear hugged her. I feel mean but its not like I said anything to her about it. She probably just thinks I'm weird or something now.
If it was me I'd tell my mom that what she has is contagious and she should avoid kissing anybody when she has an outbreak. That its not a big deal otherwise. Mainly, I'd tell her just so she is aware & doesn't end up kissing somebody's baby or something and spreading it.