Question:
i had one cold sore about a year ago, previously i had never had a cold sore. so i know for certain i have hsv-1. but only recently did i discover that a) cold sores are herpes b) they can be transmitted to someone's genitals when you're not having a cold sore through asymptomatic shedding. so there's this guy i have been dating that i have been giving unprotected oral. recognizing that the cold sore i had a year ago is now herpes (meaning i'm infected) what do i tell him?

Answer:
Simple: tell him the truth.

Answer:
Most of the time, remember, you aren't contagious. But, you never know when the rare moments that you are contagious are, so you have to be upfront and let your partner know there is a risk... Let him decide if receiving oral sex is worth the risk.

Best thing to do is know the facts and be honest.

Answer:
Okay guys, I did. I was soooo nervous, and I told him that I had something pretty serious to tell him...And...I don't think he understood. He was like, "Okay so you had a cold sore a year ago, what's the big deal?" I think this means he didn't really understand what I told him. Then he got mad at me and said that I'm really extremely cuckoo and over the top. Now I try to clarify and he just tells me to shutup with my nuttiness. I wish I never said anything.

Answer:
Hm. How do you feel about that reaction?

Answer:
I dunno. I think he should be thankful that I discovered/told him about the risk and instead he simply thinks I'm crazy for bringing up the one cold sore I had a year ago. Now I want to suggest that we both get blood tested (we've already had the standard std testing, but that doesn't include herpes testing) for HSV-1 and HSV-2, but I'm afraid he's going to go on a, "Are you still stuck on that one cold sore?" tangent.

Answer:
Doth he protest too much? Just a thought. If he is not concerned, then perhaps he has it already, or perhaps he is in such ignorance/denial that you might consider what he might have gotten in the past from others out of lack of concern/ignorance.

Be safe,

Answer:
OMG I know exactly how you feel, I told my partner that I had been exposed to HSV, in fact he was standing right next to me when I first found out the lab results, I burst into tears and insisted that he go get tested, A week went buy and he still hadent made an appt. I insisted again that it was very important but even 3 weeks later he neglected to go get tested and every time the subjeect came up he would say something like "well whos to say I even have it Y should I go to the Doc?" I dont think he understands... and i dont know how to shatter his ignorance I have already done everything accept make the appt my self

Answer:
I have a theory on this:rolleyes:.

Probably won't go down well (if you'll pardon the expression, ;) with the men).

But given the choice, would men -

A. stress about the possibility of catching a coldsore down below and decide to give up having oral sex from their partner

or

B. stay a tad ignorant, not worry about the 'what ifs' and continue to receive oral sex.......

Well, I'm guessing that many men just might choose the latter!!!

Women on the other hand, are more socialised into taking care of their bodies - we have periods, we can get pregnant etc etc. Men on the other hand tend not to talk so much about health issues (unless they're dieing from man-cold!! :D).

So I've often thought that men giving 'the talk' to women might be more difficult that the other way around.

I know, grosse generalisations, but it's just a theory.