Question:
hi all! first post!
ok here is the scenario.
My girl has had cold sores in the past...like 6-7months ago. now that i think back...i got cold sores within 2 wks of that (ive never had cold sores b4)(active period i read is bw 2-14 days...so that makes sense that i got it).
I cant remember..but she must have given me oral sex during that period.
Ok now...6-7 months later...i got some small genital blisters (v.mild-lasted 2-3wks)...i got checked and i have HSV 1 strain in the genital area (i also have it orally now of course..but have had no oral outbreaks (OB) since.

ok... so the doctor told me that HSV 1 can only be spread during periods of outbreaks...ie, from the actual blisters/sores etc. However, ive been reading that asymptomatic shedding can happen with HSV 1 as well as HSV 2 at any time. is that correct?

Ok...so in the period of 6-7 months we have had unprotected sex (but i have never ejaculated in her) ...including both of us givin each of us oral sex. SHe hasnt really had any cold sores or genital symptoms yet.

Ok...so does this mean that she has HSV 1 orally...has given HSV 1 to me orally...and via oral sex...has given me genital HSV 1...and im assuming thru sex and thru me giving her oral...she has genital HSV 1 without haveing any OB or symptoms yet.

My question is....to ppl out there...who have continued to have unprotected sex and unprotected oral sex with each other when there is NO outbreak...(ie, is no sores etc)...did u find OB increased in frequency and in intensity?

And has the partner in the r/ship who hasnt had symptoms yet finally ended up getting symptoms.
Im scared cause i dont want her to get genital symptoms (like i said...i assume she already has genital HSV 1 virus).she already has antibodies in her system bc of HSV 1 orally, does this decrease the chance of genital OB?

We both infected...so does it really matter about asymptomatic shedding during times of no symptoms?---will this increase the risk of OB

Also...from when my sores/blisters heal...how long do u think it will take to be safe for us to have unprotected sex and unprotected oral sex again?
SOrry for the long post, but i really got to get it cleared up!!!!
thanks for ur time!

Answer:
Its always a risk, symptoms or no symptoms.........there is no time frame of when its safe again........always a gamble....closest thing is to not have sex during, directly after or before an outbreak (hard to know when they are coming) you could be shedding at anytime though so there really are no guarantees.....its a gamble always. I have genital type 2, boyfriend had it and never knew because never had a symptoms....I randomly got symptoms 3 years into our relationship and he then developed a sore from my "new" infection. Both got tested and he had the antibodies already, mine developed soon after. Anyhow, we both dont have mouth symptoms....never have so have no clue if we have it orally.......assume we dont though because never any type of thing to make us suspect it. I have NOT performed oral sex on him since the diagnosis almost 2 full years ago except one time and I was so paranoid about it I felt like I was going to be sick. I will not risk it, having it genitally sucks bad enough, Id go crazy if I got it orally. He has performed oral sex on me maybe like 4 times in 2 years since diagnosis because he says "he doesnt care and doesnt think he'll get it orally". I am against having him even do it to me because I dont want him to get it orally, or then give it to me orally as a result so that is out of the question and really has ruined our sex life in many ways. dental dams are gross in our opinion.....rather not do it than use them ....same goes for condoms when giving him oral sex.....tried it once and it was so gross.....latex tastes disgusting and flavored condoms are even more gross because they taste like chemicals and latex.
But to be as safe as possibly that is your only choice to try and reduce spreading it genitally to your girl (assuming she doesnt have it their yet.....no way to know unless she ever gets symptoms) some people dont mind using dental dams/condoms, its really a personal choice/preferance.... sorry theres not much more concrete time frames or guarantees but having herpes means having no guarantees and its always a risk. Theres no concrete evidence and everyone is different.

some people dont get it for years having sex/oral with infected people because they are lucky enough to just not have had contact when the partner happened to be contagious......so its still likely your girl might not have it yet genitally but theres really no way to know so Id be safe just in case. really sucks having it genitally.....especially for women it seems. Also, having antibodies in the blood from one location does not protect enough from getting it in other areas to answer your question.

Answer:
thanks a lot for ur response.
So if she has the (orally she has...but no symtoms genitally )virus genitally...even though no symptoms....then theoretically as long as i dont have sores when we have sex or her performing oral sex with me...then it shouldnt matter? bc she already has the virus? does that seem correct? and if she does have the virus already with nothing showing....then theoretically even if i asymptomatically shed during inactive time...it shouldnt increase the risk of an OB? is that correct?
plz ppl more replies from others experiences!! thanks
stay strong!

Answer:
no, Im not saying that having sex and oral sex, given the situation described, is 100% safe. It could in fact make her contract it genitally if she hasnt already, and there is a chance that it could either trigger her to actually start experiencing genital symptoms or make her genital symptoms worse in general. Doing anything with her genital area now poses an increased risk of her getting it from you if you perform oral sex on her(since you have it orally) or you having genital contact with her (since you have it genitally as well). That is a risk because she may not in fact have it genitally yet but with unprotected genital and oral sex with you it poses an increasing risk for her to get it genitally from you as well.

The other possibility is that she already has it genitally but just not visibly gets symptoms(but it still contagious) and so you will not ever know for sure until/if she gets some symptoms genitally(even mild ones).

If that is the case then the risk is for her and possibly you to get it worse and have more frequent outbreaks. Might not increase outbreaks for you, but nothings for certain.

Also, it is risky to do so even if you or she isnt experiencing outbreaks at the time because the virus sheds without symptoms and so having an outbreak visibly is not the only time you are contagious, it is every single day potentially.......because you never know when you are contagious and not so it is always a risk. Hope this clarifies a little better.

Answer:
thank for ur response
like i said..... i have it orally...cause i have had 1 outbreak like 6-7months ago (small spot). She has it orally (small spot) around 6 months ago.
We have had unprotected sex and unprotected oral with each other for those 6months since. So im guessing she already has the virus genitally, just hasnt shown symptoms.
basically, either of us can get an OB at any time and thats fact.
But with asymptomatic shedding, from what i understand...this spreads the virus. If she already has the virus, then this shouldnt affect us.
I guess i want to know if this increases the risk of an OB...which u think yes.
i have been talkin to some1 who has HSV2 genitally, his gf doesnt (or dont konw yet). But he has been having unprotected sex and oral when he has no sores...and so far so good.
anyone else practicing unprotected sex and oral when all is good....and has this led to anything?

Answer:
Most people got hsv from their partner when there were no signs or symptoms of a genital infection or ob.

It is a big jump to assume that you've already infected your partner so it is okay to be careless.

I know of at least one person on this forum who did not know their partner had a genital infection and it took 3 years for them to contract it.

If you can prevent passing this virus to your partner you would be showing a lot of consideration as once you have it, as you know, there is no going back.

For some the ob's are horrible and frequent and for others there are few symptoms. I'd say it is a huge endeavor to voluntarily not at least attempt to protect your partner from contracting it.

Answer:
thanks again
i will for sure be using protection.
My doctor said that i dont have to take any medication bc i only have HSV1 and it was very mild. However, im thinkin should i take any meds to be extra extra safe?
Also....sorry guys another question! can it happen around the thighs? cause ive had 2 outbreaks (small again) of pimples or blisters appearing around my inner thighs...i thought they were insignificant n didnt pose a problem. could that have been herpes my initial OB?

Answer:
yes, its possible.......outbreaks can occur on the thighs, buttocks, vaginal area, etc......anywhere basically where boxer shorts would cover is the region where outbreaks can appear.