Question:
Having HSV has amazed me totally! The person Iam intimate knows about my HSV, I told him 2-3 days after being diagnosed, so he knows everything. When I told him, he was so cool about it and has been very supportive and still wanted to be intimate with me. My sex life has bee remarkable, and HSV has not put a hault to it or hindered it in anyway, IM STILL IN SHOCK! I take Valtrex 500mg daily and Lysine 1000mg daily, work out and try to live stress free and eat right, so I try to do what I can, and he knows this. Well last night, we didnt have any condoms, he basically didnt care and wanted to take the chance with me. We have been intimate several times over the past 1 1/2, and he really didnt care. I made it clear that he was taking a risk and that he knows my situation and he didnt care knwoing all of this. Well after we finished I felt bad, even though I was honest and he took his chances (this is the first time we ever went without protection) I tild him that he says" well its over now, we did it, and the funny part is I dont even feel like I should be worried," and he rolled over and went to sleep!!

Answer:
You gave him all the information, he's an adult, and he gave you informed consent. So I'm not worried about him. I was a tad worried about you though - are you sure he didn't have any std's that he could have given you? He could have had another strain or type of herpes and infected you. Or an undetectable std that he didn't know he had like HPV. Do you trust him to tell you if he knew he had an std?

When someone says they don't mind not using condoms, or don't like using condoms, chances are they were the same way with other people and the chances of him having something are greater than someone who makes it a rule to always use condoms.

Bottom line, I hope you aren't exposing yourself to more risks than you would normally take, because you want to be accepted for your herpes.

Answer:
I totally feel what your are saying, and figured someone would make the important comments you made, thanks. I would like to say first that Im not trying to be accepted with having HSV from him or anyone else, as long as I can deal with it (and I have) then someone elses opinions or feelings doesnt matter to me. I made a vow that I would be open and honest about me having HSV and if a guy couldnt handle it and wanted to walk, then so be it, Im still wonderful/beautiful inside and out. As for the std thing, I thought about all of this of course afterwards. This is the first time we ever did this, and it was only because we didnt have any protection. After being diagnosed with HSV I stopped buying condoms because I figured no one would want to be intimate with me, I know stupid, so everytime he and I are intimate, he has the protection. It was weird because there have been several occassions were we didint have any condoms, and we both agreed not to do it, last night just came out of nowhere. I know I have to be careful because Im more at risk for transmitting other std's. I had a std work up in Mar'07 and everything came back neg, except for the HSV so. I plan on going to see my OBGYN, again. I just dont want him to be cool with this, then in a month or so, he comes up with HSV and wants to kill me! I told him this and said it was over and done with and that he isnt worried and didnt feel weird. I sure as heck feel weird. Having HSV is so complicated I thought I wanted to be normal and have sex again, but now I think I will go back to "keeping myself" its to much to deal with, there are too many risks even if you are open and honest. I believe this is making me have an OB as we speak!

Answer:
Bottom line, I hope you aren't exposing yourself to more risks than you would normally take, because you want to be accepted for your herpes. Good point

Answer:
Hey there Still blessed....

My man has also not used a condom from time to time. (we have both been checked for all other STDS, and have been together for 4 years, so I am not worried about anything other than HE catching the H from me) but he told me when he found out I had it that he was not worried about it and we would just have to take extra precautions and we do. Most times we DO use a condom (more for birth control than anything else, but also to help protect him) but many times he chooses NOT to use one for sensation purposes. He knows all the risks involved, and is cool with it, sooooo....again, we just take extra clean up precautions afterwards, no matter how sleepy tired we are! ;-)

Answer:
Ok,so ya tell,inform,educate....I realy hope that you'alls partner dosen't get H....and by some unfortunate stroke of unluckyness they do....I hope they don't look at you differently,or turn on ya.Human nature is an unprodicktable thing....Good luck and be as carefull as ya can....please.
My X is a nurse,I had not been diognosed with H when we meet,but had all the classic symptoms (told her about my condition) we married had a ok sex life untill....the Valtrex comerecial's about getting it when you'r partner had no "OBs....then the news about genital warts and cervical canser....I looked at her and said herpes causes that? And I quote her exact words....
"NO....THAT OTHER SHIT ON YOUR DICK"in a very hateful,mean tone.
I'm not a very how shall we say it....imotional person but....certion things can and have moved me to tears in the past,you know I haven't shead one tear since that time....my son'swedding,my baby girls wedding....where am I going with this....I don't know sorry to get off the subject.Hope everything turnes out ok for you'all.

Answer:
Perhaps he doesn't care, maybe he's not going anywhere, or maybe he knows something you don't. I'm not trying to point my finger here, but have you thought of all the possibilities? If a person already has the virus, then they might behave this way. Either way, there has to be a reason for the lackadasical attitude.

Answer:
I don't see what the problem is. Assuming he's educated about it then he knows the risks. You say;

Im still wonderful/beautiful inside and out

This is probably why he had sex without a condom. Because if you think you're attractive (I'm sure you are) then you ARE attractive to others - you give off that vibe. So maybe, he thinks you're very special, maybe he thinks you're the one?????????

Maybe the reason you have a problem with it, is that you now think you might not feel the same way about HIM as he does about YOU??

If - when (i'm being positive today) - I find someone special, I would hope that they would have sex without a condom, if he wanted to, and lets be honest all men want to.

I don't think it's necessarily a lackadasical attitude.

Answer:
Ok, it might not be lackadasical, but if my partner had the same reaction, I would be curious and ask for them to explain why they felt that way.