Question:
I am here at my desk working and it just hit me. The past few months I haven't even thought about sex , AT ALL!!! I think getting herpes has traumatized me so much, I don't even care about it anymore.... I never used to think that way, I loved intimacy with my boyfriend (now ex--fucker!)

anyway,

will i ever have sex again???!!! I hate this... I am actually scared to have sex ever again! Will I get an OB?? I haven't had one since my first OB.....

I F"IN HATE HERPES

I feel like it has taken away my beauty, my body, and taken over my mind!!!! omg, i'm getting a headache typing this message

I guess I'm not having a good day :(

Answer:
Angel Eyes, you've allowed this to consume your life, and that's just not healthy. There's so much more to life than herpes, but if you continue on this path you're on, you're going to let it all pass by you, and that would be such a waste.

I've said this before, but I really believe it's true, so I'm going to say it again. This unreasonable fear we have of ourselves enforces the stigma, and perpetuates it, just as much or more than any crude remark or ignorant statement made by someone who knows nothing about herpes. We're our own worst enemies.

If you don't let yourself test your own boundaries, you'll never know what they are. It's your own fear that's holding you prisoner, not herpes. If you try something new and you do get an ob, you won't die. It will pass, you'll have learned something, and you will have taken an important step towards getting your life back. And isn't that what you really want?

Answer:
will i ever have sex again???!!! I hate this... I am actually scared to have sex ever again! Will I get an OB?? I haven't had one since my first OB..... I think that is really up too you, isn't it?

Someone gave this too you and really betrayed you. Now your faced with the decision of meeting someone you like and having to break this news to them because being like that person that betrayed you would be the worse thing you could do just now in your own mind.

Your probably thinking "I have herpes, oh crap I am contagious". Your probably thinking "My lifes changed so much".

Okay lets take step back and review shall we?

Can you still go to the gym/sports and or other aerobic classes and work and and feel good about yourself...... Yes, herpes is not going to stop this... if anything this will help regulate your sex drive and stave off an outbreak. Actually now that you have the "H" you'll probably being keeping as healthy as possible and as a result looking very attractive all the time.

Can you still work your ass off at work, meet deadlines and feel good about yourself. Yep.... why would the "h" affect that? I can see how it might affect your work if you kept hyping these "bumps" in your mind and lets face it when it comes down to it all they are, are "bumps".

Can you still go out socialise and drink? Again you can do this no problem. The only aspect here is how much your going to let this get you down, when you should be PARTYING.

So really the person you are or the person you want to be has not changed at all then. In the big picture the only thing that has changes is your "sex life". Life does not need too change if you don't want it too. Only your "sex life" has....



Well lets talk about "sex life", well i'm a bloke and let me do some woman to bloke translation for you. You have a huge advantage being a woman.

Woman says "I need to tell you something before we have sex, I have herpes and although the chances of you catching it off me are pretty low when i'm not having an outbreak, I'd like you to know about it because you can still catch this and it is a virus so its perminent, I can understand if you don't want to do this"

Man translates in his mind "Sex is going to be slighty delayed.... I sometimes get bumps down there, i'm pretty concerned about it, do you want to have sex? .....chance to have sex might disappear soon"

Personally if a bloke really really likes someone. He wouldn't care what you have going on down there, he'll probabaly want to bonk your brains out anyhow. Actually he'll probably ignore you when you go on about "H" and might look at you like your being stupid.

Lifes tougher than that. There stronger than that. If a bloke really likes you a few bumps aren't going to stand in his way. He won't even care if you where born with five assholes.

Look after yourself Angel_eyes. Stay healthy. Stay happy. The person you are hasn't changed and the only thing that possibly could have changed is your sex life.

I think WriterCLL is right. Your letting it affect you too much. You'll find someone and you will be happy. It's who you are most people are interested in, it's your good qualities that people are attracted too, not what you may have wrong with you (everyone has something wrong with them).

If you let this affect you too much, your going to loose who you are and your good qualities.

As I said look after yourself.

Answer:
If you have let this consume your life, of course you won't have sex again.


This may be too much information, but I still love sex, and hell I'll use my vibrator every night if I have too.

If I would have done that in the first place I wouldn't have herpes.

Answer:
Thanks all....

That was yesterday, and it was a moment of negative thoughts. I am very new to this, so I think thats why I am still very much on an emotional roller coaster. I also learned that my mother told my father a few days ago... I can tell he is crushed. I am his little girl and he feels like he cannot do anything to help my situation. I am glad he doesn't own a 45 and a shovel, b/c I am certain he believes that noone would miss my ex.

Angeloftheair, you are right. I do take care of myself even better than before. And I respect my body more than before. And, when I do have sex, I will appreciate it so much more.... I never did before, just took it for granted....