Question:
im 21 yrs old. okay so i get outbreaks on my penis a few times a year generally around the same place.

i've have sex with 3 girls over the last 2 yrs on and off like hooking up when convenient no relationship or what not and have been wearing condom religiously of course (how could my nerves handle otherwise). i havent told any of them (im not seeing any of them anymore) i have herpes and otherwise there is no way they would of had sex with me (makes sense). they have not gotten infected but im still nervous for obvious reasons. 2 yrs ago found a beautiful girl who was inlove with with me so she said and when i told her she said 'i have to think with my head with this one im sorry'.

that was horrible rejection and i've not told since..
if i get on supressive therapy and wear condoms can i do this for years or till i find a wife????????
girls are not accepting of this!

WHAT ARE THE HONEST TO GOD PROBABILITY???? you'll likely pass it on or most likely not unless its a regular partner.???

ive asked tons of my friends (girls i go to college with) without herpes if they would date someone who had it and they all said no.

think in my shoes, i only just turned 21yrs old and im a good looking kid...ive only had 5 partners in my life (3 one night) so really 2 gfs.

Answer:
they have not gotten infected but im still nervous for obvious reasons. How do you know they were not infected? Many people do not show signs for many years, or have such mild outbreaks their infection is mistaken for something else, like a yeast infection or an ingrown hair.

Have they had reliable blood tests well after engaging in intercourse with you that came up negative? If not, then you cannot truly know whether or not you passed it on.

You can pass it on even through condom use and avoiding sex during outbreaks.

I'm curious whether you have any strong feelings about others making decisions about your personal health without your input. Do you feel it is your right to make your own decisions about your health, or are you ok with others sometimes making those decisions for you?

Claudia

Answer:
do you think it is my right to not get laid?

Answer:
so be miserable suffer rejection for the 'health' of others?

Answer:
You're focused on your fear. I get that. This is tough stuff.

Do you feel like in some cases it is ok for someone else to consciously put you at risk of catching a life-long disease without your consent or knowledge?

Answer:
so be miserable suffer rejection for the 'health' of others? That's an extremely selfish thing to say. Honestly, i would have guessed you were much younger than 21.

If you have sex with someone and don't tell them about your HSV status, you're putting their health at risk, and that's a very shallow, selfish, immoral thing to do. If a girl had HIV, you wouldn't want her to just ASSUME it's ok to have sex with you because she asked you to wear a condom, would you? And honestly, it's probably easier to get HSV, since it can be present anywhere in the genital area, not just in semen.

It's your responsibility as a moral human being to disclose your status any time you engage in activities which put another at risk of contraction -- and that includes ALL activity where ANY part of her comes into contact with any part of your "boxer shorts" region. Otherwise, you run the risk of giving her a virus she never asked for without her consent.

There are women who will accept you and your virus, but this may put a damper on your "getting laid". You may have to wait until you get to know a girl before jumping into bed with her. However, you may just avoid getting something more serious by taking the time to find out what your woman's STI status is, as you disclose yours.

Answer:
theres a million young people on here and we all have hsv just like you and all have to "suffer" without casual sex and having life suck in this aspect but you dont see many people on here being blatantly rude and careless about the health of others for their own selfish pleasures, now do you? I got this when i just turned 22 so believe me i feel your pain....im 24 now, but i honestly would never jeapordize someone elses health without their knowledge for my own selfish desires. i too have only had 2 boyfriends in my life and the second one passed this on to me, truly unknowingly so you are not alone in the "young" aspect in any way....theres people on here younger than you....16, 17, 18 19, 20, 21 years old and they are not jeapordizing others health because they feel it is unfair they have herpes... life is unfair, having herpes sucks but its life and think how horrible you feel about the way your interactions with the opposite sex go now that you have herpes(if you tell).....do you really want to give someone else this horrible life long ordeal that you are facing? to me, its just not worth hurting others and ruining others lives without their knowledge....sorry to say.

Answer:
Tell me something, Igotmadquestions... how did YOU get herpes? Did one of your partners tell you beforehand that they had it and you were at risk, or did you find out after the fact when you developed symptoms and tested positive? I'm guessing the latter. If so, how did YOU like it? Turn about is NOT fair play, and whether you get laid or not is not the issue.

Answer:
This is probably rude. But this whole conversation got me to thinking of protective older brothers. Yeah I've got 7 of them and boy would they be pissed if I was say 18-25 and some guy purposefully infected me with hsv.

Can you imagine what a guy would look like after they got ahold of him? not a pretty site.

women don't forgive easily and women talk and you've got a lot of years to live and just maybe you'll live long enough to really regret being so selfish.