Question:
I know some poeple struggle with the convo of doom, so I thought I'd post one of my experiences with some tips of my own.

I've had genital herpes for nearly 2 years now. I caught it when I was raped, which makes me feel even worse about it because its a reminder.

I've had sex with a few people since. Some might think thats makes me premiscuious, but I'm a glamour model so I dont really worry about peoples opinions too much!

I've told every person that I have slept with (or dated and not slept with) that I have genital herpes before I have got too close. And I've never had a bad experience. I think its how you say it that makes a difference.

I choose to do internet dating, so some of this might not be relevent. I choose to do it because of my job. I can be anonymous until I meet the guy. They get to know me without my job getting in the way.

Take my current partner for example. We have been together 5 months, and have just moved in together. I met him off an internet dating site.

I told him I had genital herpes the first time we met. We had been for a drink, and we had had a kiss and cuddle. We were walking home, when we walked past a bench, and I said I needed to sit down.

I held his hands, and looked him in the eyes. I said "There is something I need to tell you. Its probably not as bad as what you picture it, so let me explain, then I'll answer any questions you have."

He looked at me puzzled, and I smiled. "I was raped last year." "Oh my god, are you ok? I;m so sorry to hear that!" I laughed. "I havn't finished yet! I was raped last year and caught an STD. Well, I caught genital herpes. Its the same as coldsores that you get on your mouth." "oooooookaaaay." "Now, I know it sounds really bad, but actually it isn't. Its contagious mainly on an outbreak, same as coldsores on your mouth. Its just the other symptoms that are worse. It can make me quite poorly. I get shooting pains and stuff. You can't catch it by kissing cuddling or toilet seats!!!!" He smiled. "I thought you were going to say you had HIV or something. Is that it? Do condoms stop it spreading?" "Most of the time. Theres always a small chance, because skin sheds and very occasionally that can carry the virus. Thats most likely just before or just after an outbreak." "Oh right. So we could still have sex then?" I laughed at that point, he laughed and smiled again, then kissed me.

So you see, it doesn't mean the end of relationsips. If explained properly it can work out fine. And, if you do tell someone and they react badly, ask yourself this. Is that the kind of person you want to be dating anyway??!?!?!

I hope this has helped anyone that may be struggling to tell people. From personal experience the sooner you get it over and done with, the better, and the easier it is. Once you start spinning a web for yourself, you get trapped! I hope this helped.

Answer:
I just wanted to say it's great you tell partners. I think the way you went about it was great, and hopefully i can use that in the future. Sounds like you've got a good handle on this! :)

Answer:
reading this has helped me so much. You see, I have been dating a man for a few weeks now....things are going so well and i am interested in him...ALOT. This is the first man that i have been truely interested in since getting H.

I am planning on telling him tonight. He is making me dinner, I am going to bring over a bottle of wine....and I am going to tell him. I am so nervous and reading this has helped me.... I want to keep it simple, factual, and honest. He is a very caring person, and what I know of him so far is telling me that he will be understanding.

Wish me well, I will keep you posted.....

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Let us know how it goes! good luck!!!!

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Yeah, good luck, just keep a smile on your face, keep it factual but casual, and you should be fine :D

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I have to tell you when I told my BFF, which we did have a "mini" relationship, he said the SAME exact thing. He said I was so upset and worried that when I was explaining. I got it also after being raped. He looked at me and was like oh I thought you were going to tell me you had HIV.

Boy that story was just as if I was telling mine.

Answer:
Fabulous! That's EXACTLY what I'd thought I'd say (well more or less) when I tell someone. Although whether it'll go according to plan in reality is another thing!

just keep a smile on your face - I think that's sooo important. If we tell someone and then burst into tears then maybe they could be forgiven for running for the hills!!!!

I wish Angel Eyes would come on line............................:D

Answer:
Good Luck Angel Eyes! We're all thinking about you right now and hoping it's going well.

Answer:
So, as planned, I went to his house last night. We had a nice dinner and after dinner while sitting on the couch, I took his hand and told him I had to tell him something. I told him that my last bf misrepresented his health status and gave me a std---herpes. I explained that there are two types, I and II. I told him I have type II. I said "you will probably want to research this a bit", and asked him to be honest with me if he decides that he feels different about us dating eachother.

He had alot of questions. He said he really didn't know anything about herpes and his first thought was he should go and get tested also, he has had a coldsore before. I told him that coldsores on the lips may be Type I. (can you believe that!!!) He said his ex of 3 years got coldsores on her mouth all the time.

He thanked me a few times for my honesty---about 3 times. He then said that he wants to get an appt with his doctor to get tested himself as well as learn more about HSV. He told me that having this doesn't make him like me any less.

I told him that if anything, this experience has made me a better person (he was sweet, he said he doesn't understand how that could be...told me that I was wonderful and a perfect package).

SO I gotta say I am happy I feel blessed and very strong. I know that this will not change my finding true love