Question:
Hi guys. I never officially said hello and introduced myself in the new members forum section, but I've already posted. Some of you know I've been deliberating about telling my partner about my status, which is ridiculous because its long overdue and absolutely the right thing to do. I've decided tonight is the night. I've been thinking about it all week. I'm scared but I also feel so relieved about what I'm doing. I know it is best this way. This is the person I want to be and know I am. I have no idea how he will react. I am so very scared, but I will not allow my fear to shut me up this time. I'm doing the right thing for both of us and our future partners. Although it would be great if we were each other's future partners. I have hope but I also understand the reality of the situation.

You see, I've been infected for over three years and even though my partner and I have only been together a little over a year, we actually met just after I was infected and I didn't tell him then, either. After the diagnosis and treatment, I "forgot" it happened or that I had it. That might sound like b.s. to some of you, but I really did block it out. In fact, I managed to block it out for a long time. I'm ready to face the music. This is maybe one of the most important things I've ever done. It's his right to know what he's been exposed to and to be able to make choices. I should have given him that right a long time ago but I can't change the past, only my actions going forward. Wish me luck.

Answer:
GOOD LUCK! I'm glad you've decided to "man-up" and do what's right. If nothing else, he should be thankful you didn't let him find out by giving it to someone else. I hope he's understanding, and i hope he's negative!! GOOD LUCK!

Answer:
Thank you! He has never complained of any symptoms, but as we all know, that doesn't mean he hasn't been exposed. He did have another girlfriend for two years between the first time we were together and now, so I'm going to encourage him to tell her to be tested as well, even though he has told me she was a fanatic about getting tested while they were together. This is about being responsible. :wink:

Answer:
I am so glad you are making the responsible, mature choice. He does have a right to know and although you are scared of the outcome, it's time for you to put it out there. Regardless of the outcome, I think you will feel better taking this approach - hiding it (while any of us who have done this may try to kid ourselves) has some serious repercussions for YOU as well as HIM (stress, "hiding out" from sex and making excuses during outbreaks, etc.). I have had a good experience with telling (I have only told once) and my partner was very appreciative of my honesty on a subject that's...well...very embarassing. He knows what we need to do to be "careful" and he's willing to take the risk to be with me. Hopefully your partner responds well and will love you for who you ARE and not because you have a virus that you did not ask for. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer:
If he really cares for you, he will be understanding of your situation AND still want to be with you as there are preventative measures to take.
Good luck!:)

Answer:
Good Luck!!! :) I hope that it works out for you and that he is understanding. Good for you for having the courage to tell him and being able to admit that you made a mistake in not doing it initially.

Answer:
I hope this went well for you. Either way, you did the right thing.

Answer:
Wow - that is heavy duty for me... I do not have it - altho, that is just the luck of the draw - you know...
But, I hope he doesn't have it... Good luck to you what you are doing is right, but... didn't you think he had the right to know a year ago??
Where he could be real pisst off cuz you didn't give him the choice if he wanted to be exposed..
I am just thinking from my point of view... Not being infected, going out into the world looking for a mate... I would just be damn pissted off if someone didn't tell me... No matter how much I loved that person...........
I would now have to get over the trust issue...

Hope he is understanding & loves you & is NOT infected............ :(

Answer:
So I did tell him on Friday. I was completely honest and I answered all his questions. He was shocked and hurt. He is going to get tested. He said he was sorry I have HSV1 and that I've been agonizing over this for so long. He of course said he wishes I would have told him sooner, but he also understands why I didn't.

We ended up spending the weekend together. We have not been intimate and there is a fair amount of distance present in the relationship now. He responded quite positively, much to my surprise. I said I went into it with no expectations, but that isn't true. Afterwards I was sure he would break up with me. Maybe he still will. He said he needs time to think about a lot of things. I want to respect and honor that.

I'm scared of losing him. I'm so sorry I never told him in the beginning but I know I did the right thing no matter how this turns out.