Question:
Hi... I was wondering how you open up to tell people? I've had herpes for almost 2 years now and havent dated since, well my best friend once, but we dated previously, and I told him prior to dating when I need someone to talk to.

I received herpes from my boss at the time who wanted to come over to "have a few drinks". I don't remember anything that night, just what my roommate said when she had stopped by. I'll still never forgive her for not doing anything about it.

Recently I was seeing a guy, very very casually. I never felt comfortable enough to be alone with him, even if we were just going out to dinner. I can't imangine how I would ever tell someone if I got to that point...

I guess I really want to hear how you moved on and how you've told people in the past.

Also.. is there any place where you can meet others in your area with herpes? Kind of avoid that awkaward step....

Answer:
Hi there,

There is a website you can try..

http://www.stdromance.com

Answer:
There are other links on the left too. Look under the Social Scene section. There are several sites.

I personally haven't told anyone, so no help there, but GOOD LUCK!

Answer:
Its hard to tell people, but when you get into a relationship, its too stressing on the body not to tell.. And you know what, Millions of people have this stupid Cold sore problem. You are still you. I waited 6 weeks to tell my current Boyfreind, I think it made him a little nervous, but he totally likes me for me, Who cares about a skin issue. YOu will know when the time is right to tell, and it a relief when you do.. and the right thing to do... Read the facts, go in with a happy face, and be possitive, Dont get stressed, If the man doesnt except it, what ever,,, there are lots of men out there!

Answer:
It is so funny how different most of us are with this.... I tell everyone... I find ways to make sure people know... so they can get tested.... I have a friend... who was glad I told her... because recently another friend of hers was devastated when they found out they had it... so... she told her friend about me... and I was there to let her know what I know... and where to find info... to me... the more people I tell... the more real it is... and the less stigma there is... if I am ashamed I have it... how can I expect others to accept me...

Answer:
It's so hard, isn't it?

I have told a few people. I couldn't NOT tell, I was dating someone at the time who took an uber fast hike out of the relationship when he found out, I told a couple of family members and I told my best friend because I needed support. I really needed support because I was freaking the hell out. Oh, and I told the man I'm seeing right now, who is the best thing since sliced bread.

ANYWAY, glad I told my friend, because it turns out, we had more in common than a love for second hand stores and a shared sense of humor. She told me that she's been living with this for some time, shared her experiences with me, gave me some tips on how to deal. I'm glad I did, I don't want an occasional rash to be the deciding factor in my happiness and if I'm going to be in charge of my life, I have to make this not a big deal for me.

Honestly, after reading the stats, I could probably tell a great many people I know and come up with the same results all over the place. It's not as hard as it seems, and for the most part, other than the disappearing boyfriend at first, everyone has offered support and asked to be educated on it.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey, secrets are a hard burden. If you're like me, they get heavier every day. My mom told me when I first was preparing to dump this awesome man I am now seeing because I didn't want to tell him about my "issue", "it's pretty shitty to take the choice out of his hands, isn't it?" and she was right. You're welcome to take my mom's advice. Don't let this rule your life.