Question:
Didin't know where else to go with this so here I am.

A few days ago, my bf noticed small red spots (no pain, discomfort, etc) and said I'd better check myself. I did this and found nothing.
Next day, he went to the GUM clinic and got bloods and samples taken. The doc said it could be related to the bacterial vaginosis I had a few months ago, but it could be syphilis or most likely herpes. He was given a cream to combat any bacterial or fungal infections that may be present.

I'm not going to beat around the bush, I plan on being with him for the rest of my life. We had talked about getting married, children, etc and I am 110% sure this is how I want our life to be. However, he said if he has Herpes and I don't, then he'll finish our relationship as he can't bear the guilt of passing it on to me. He also said he could never live with himself if we had children and they contracted it at birth.

I understand his guilt, and I am fully aware of the implications of having herpes for life. I want to be with him and I don't want to be with anyone else so I am prepared to work our lives around this. He won't hear it though. I feel like I've been given a death sentence if it proves to be herpes. I'm totally devastated and I don't know what to do. He won't even sleep in the same bed as me until the results come back in case he infects me :(

Answer:
I will pray for u both. I hope the results come back negative.

Answer:
I can understand his fears but both of you need to get some facts before you allow this to ruin what sounds like a good relationship.

For one thing you even if it was you with the genital herpes infection you can safely give birth to perfectly healthy children without infecting them at birth.

There are blood tests which detect exposure to this virus and unless you have taken the appropriate steps to have testing to rule out that you have it as well it would be foolish for him to go off half-cocked and just assume that you don't have it. Many people can be infected for years and never have symptoms and not know they have it.

I am attaching a link that may be helpful.



Please take some time and read the links that are over on the left hand side in blue. There are fact sheets and brochures that may ease some of his fears.

He needs some support dealing with this possible infection and it sounds like he is in shock. It also sounds like he loves you dearly and is worried about the future. These emotions are perfectly normal and for most of us with some time we realize that we don't need to have such severe mindsets and that we can live normal happy lives with wonderful partners and have the families we always dreamed we would.

Answer:
I don't want to give you false hopes, but there may be a vaccine/cure sometime in the next 15-20 years. It may be much sooner than that, but a lot needs to be done to secure the funding for the needed research. This might help both of you to cope (regardless of his decision or whether or not you have it).