Question:
Please help.

i've been infected with HSV for about6 years now. and i've infected my girlfriend of 4 years. we've een together since. but now its going down hill. she really isnt the one for me. and we've been struggling wth living with eachother, and dealing with eachother day to day.


when ever we get into arguments, she brings it up, "well you gave me herpes! its your fault! i didnt ask for this! i'll never marry, i'll never bear children!" it destroys me and i find myself constantly trying to mend a relationship i know doesnt work, but its the only one i have and i cant bear to go out into the world with this virus.

i feel guilty for giving it to her and ruining her life. i feel like i cant ever leave her. the thought of her trying to deal in the world with this disease because of me kills me.

how do i cope?

Answer:
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Something similar to that happened to me and I had to really fight to keep my head and make my decision to leave or stay without the influence of guilt. I hadn't given it to him it turns out, but the chance was there and he was really driving that point home with some really cruel words as I was trying to leave. I did leave, even not knowing. There was no way I could tolerate his abuse any longer.

We all take risks. The odds caught up with you, with her, with me, it happens. You really are in a tough spot but it'll get easier with time. If you really are at the point where you know it won't work it might help just to think through the options. If you stay with her out of guilt, obviously that won't work. And at the same time, if she's the kind of person who would want to guilt someone into staying with her, it won't work. You didn't ruin her life. You don't have that power. And only she has the power to make her life as wonderful as it can be. If she works toward that, herpes will be such an insignificant part of her life she will probably one day feel very silly about her dramatic words.

Take care

Answer:
People say mean things when they are upset... its a fact... we simply don't think, or at least Most of us don't.

I think, I would really take a look at this situation from a third person perspective, I remember when there was a girl, i've been together for a couple of years, and we too got into our fair share of arguements, almost everyday in fact, and it too was draining my energy, I said some meanthings, she said her MEAN things, and to make a long story short... we split.

Now looking at it, I 've realized, What that girl meant to me.. i mean i knew it before, we were very close and i knew i liked her a lot when ever i was with her, we talked everyday on the phone and everything...

So i guess, my advice... if that girl makes you happy.. and really look at it from a "DIFFERENT" perspective, you should think before you act.. sometimes you never realize what you have untill its gone.. and once a Girl is fed up... nothing we/ you can do to change that.

Just know Your situation... Know your priorities and let your heart and (mind) guide you... EVERYONE deserves to be happy...