Question:
OK, so I'm new at this herpes thing, but I'm not gonna let it stop my newly formed relationship with the most wonderful man in the world. He knows about it, and is scared that he might have contracted it, but is unbeilivably supportive. I want to get to the nitty gritty. I'm not a sex feend, but lets face it, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, sex is a great part of life! Will he ever be able to go down on me again? If I have a sore that is basically healed, and only a red spot, can I still have wild and crazy sex only with a condom? How long do the sores last? zif he fingers me, does he have to wash his hands right away or will just wiping them off do it? Doesn't the virus die when air hits it, and how long does that take? PLEASE.... tell me anything having to do with a sex life, and be graffic, or I'll ask you more and more questions. Just trying to cope. Nikki

Answer:
Luckily I have unprotected with my boyfriend of 3 years and he has not contracted it....(yes he knows I have it and yes he has been tested on several occasions) Just to let you know...the virus does "shed" so there may not be any visual signs that you are having an outbreak, but you could pass it to your boyfriend...He may catch it the first time you go unprotected...he may catch it on the 100th time or he may never catch it...I would advise to be very careful...and tell him that it is literally a roll of the dice.

Answer:
]If you have a bump or anything going on you shouldnt be having unprotected sex at all..in fact..if you are having sex at all during these times at all, he's at risk for infection. And by sex I mean SEX...penetration. If you have redness, swelling any bumps at all, you are active and you shouldnt be allowing him to have sex with you. NOW...that doesnt mean you cant kinda fool around during those times..if you feel up to it. My last outbreak happened during my period and I'll tell ya..by the time both were gone, I was so fucking tense I could have killed someone. So my husband got me off with just his hands..no biggy. I felt better and he wasnt putting himself in harms way. He washed his hands after and everything was fine. If you have oral sex while on an outbreak he couldnt get it on his lips..if he doesnt already have it. That's how I got it..from my husbands tiny, dried up cold sore on his lip..now i have type 1 on my vagina...which I contracted while I was 6 mos preg with our second son. I only break out occasionally but its still stressfull and painfull when I do break out.
Oh..and a condom isnt always gonna protect him from getting it. I know of several people that got it while having sex with a condom. Just be sensable and be carefull and he should be fine. I've had it for almost 5 years now and my husband is still clean. We are just carefull and dont have sex if I feel anything odd.

Del[/i]

Answer:
I would say you should wait for it to clear up completely before having sex. Otherwise, let your boyfriend know what your status is (not in the heat of the moment) and tell him the risks, before hand. If he still choses to have sex with you, fine, but let him choose, afterall its his health you're messing with.