Question:
okay...so i was first diagnosed in april of last year and ive only posted a couple times....i was dating someone when i had a tiny breakout for the first time. only one little bump. it freaked me out.... we broke up a month and a half later....

i havent been sexual with anyone since that time...nor have i had to tell anyone.

i met someone in florida last year when i was still dating my ex boyfriend. i was very attracted to this guy, but i was very loyal to my ex. so i told him that i wasnt available. when my ex and i broke up...i tried to reach this guy and his cell phone was disconnected...this was in june of last year.

two months ago, out of the blue...he called me. and since then...weve talked alot. several times a day. so...he is going to come to see me next week...so i started to freak out....like...omg...i have to tell him. like...i didnt have any choice. i got to a point of acceptance about having herpes. i can not get rid of it. i have the responsibility to tell whoever im going to be with, and i knew i had to tell him before he made the trip out. like i was thinking, if he didnt want to be with me under those circumstances, i wouldnt want him to fly all the way out here and then be told something like that. i figured it was only fair to tell him ahead of time.

so...last night when we were talking...i took the leap of faith. and i told him my story. matter of fact...not scared, just to the point. and then i told him that i liked him...that i couldnt go on with keeping that to myself, and that he deserved to know it so he could make choices around it. and i told him that alot of people have it...and dont know they have it....

and then he said..."yes...i know...i know that..." and i said..."how do you know that?" and he said..."i just know it...i know about it..." and i said..."how do you know about it? do you have it?" and he said "yes...i have it"

:D

not that im glad that he has it....dont get me wrong...but im gonna tell you what....

God sure had my back on that one....

and i couldnt have asked for a better outcome. he told me how much he respected me for telling him and being courageous enough to do that. that the girl he got it from lied to him. knew she had it, and didnt tell him. and he told me it took his feeling for me to a different level.

:D

and so thats my story. at least thats one hurdle out of the way. so those of you that have the same feelings of fear that i had...trust...no matter what the outcome...it will be okay. alot of people have it.

ive hated it since i was diagnosed. for months it took my sexuality away. i cant have it do that. i loved being a sensuous woman...and i dont want to loose that over this virus. thank you...everyone who posts....you have really helped me. i read all the posts...just dont respond alot.

L.

Answer:
Nice story I guess, anyway my question is, when was he going to tell you? Did you ask him that? Herpes is not the only disease you can get either, how many different kinds of genital warts are there? Guys can't be tested for those! These things usually come in twos. God this dating thing sucks! Ha!

Monster

Answer:
interesting that you have to bring in so much negativity when i felt really good about the experience. is that what you do in your life? smear your unhappiness onto other people so they can maybe be as miserable as you? i dont appreciate that feedback. and quite honestly, i dont really care about when he was going to tell me. lets just say i have faith that it would have happened. whats the point of engaging in all those mental gymnastics of wondering "would he or wouldnt he". there is no way to tell. so...i figure i have two options. one is to distrust and think negatively which we all know produces stress and stress is not good for us....if you get my point....or two, think positively about it and take care of myself. because you are really just talking about something that i will never know for sure. why do you even participate in this forum if all you want to spread is fear and distrust? seems unhealthy to me. but just my opinion. im not saying im right....

Answer:
I'm an optimist with experience. I'm not trying to be negative just honest and realistic. I think a lot of the positive stuff about this disease is just garbage, I was just thinking out loud on most of that post anyway. I thought people wanted feedback when they post their stories here? It's an open public forum. Keep an open mind to others opinions; they may see something that you are blind to, never know. You seem a little sensitive, so I'll be sure to tread lightly around you, is that a deal? Sorry if you took offence to my questions and observations, I promise to be nice OK?

Monster

Answer:
yes thank you. that would be good...

leah...

Answer:
Girl,

I just love hearing about a good reaction to "the talk". Not wanting to have the talk has keep me in my rut, but i am getting out now. On soon, i'll meet someone to have a talk with. i know what you mean about losing your sexuality. I miss sex. Yeah i miss the companionship the talking and all that, but I miss the afterglow even more. :)

Keep us posted.

P.S. Just cause he has lil h, you still need safe sex for the stuff it protect you from. Have fun.

Answer:
Girl,

I just love hearing about a good reaction to "the talk". Not wanting to have the talk has keep me in my rut, but i am getting out now. On soon, i'll meet someone to have a talk with. i know what you mean about losing your sexuality. I miss sex. Yeah i miss the companionship the talking and all that, but I miss the afterglow even more.
lols...i like your attitude...i just posted you on another topic. i can just hear your voice when you say "girrrl"....lols.

yes....i know to be safe. i think hes coming to visit soon.

and...like the other thing with the sexuality....it was more that just sex....like the feeling of being a sensual woman...ya know what i mean?? like that went away for a while. its coming back. im so glad. i felt sort of asexual for a while...hated it. feels good to talk to others with similar life experiences and feelings.

Answer:
I love hearing happy stories like these. It's funny to think that someone telling you they have it too could make a person so happy. would we ever have thought that hearing that our partner has an std would be so great. I know you said that you wern't happy per say that he had it but I tell you if I ever had the talk and they had it to i would be jumping for joy. not because I'm an asshole but because I know that h just isn't a big deal in my life, it's the stigma that surrounds it and the reaction people have to it. So he also knows that it isn't a big deal and also he has been through this experience and he understands. you guys can support and help each other. and not to mention that you can pretty much have normal sex because you don't have to worry about passing it. so I just wanted to say I am so happy for you and I wish you the best of luck. truthfully everytime I have told I was hoping deep down they had it too.