Question:
well I got dumped again because of herpes. My heart is broken again. I just can't do this to myself anymore. I meet someone I like and they always end up not being able to handel it and leaving me. I really liked this one too, he was a pretty good guy. He just wasn't in love with me and felt I was not "the one" and wasn't willing to take the risk. I am not accepting anymore dates from non h people. I don't care how wonderful they are I am not taking the chance on falling for another person, then going through the whole talk and having them dissapear out of my life. none of the guys I met want to deal with this, it is just to much for them. I have to take some of the blame though, I should have told him sooner, befor we got attached to each other. But I suspected pretty strongly I had it then finally went and had the blood test done and had it confirmed for sure. How am I supposed to get a guy to fall in love with me and really get to know me. these things take time and with our society being so fast sexually I feel like I don't have enough of an opportunity to give them a chance to see who I really am. I guess I took some thing out of this. my life is not where it should be. I don't take care of myself, i am living the wrong lifestyle and hanging out with the wrong people. good guys are turned off by my lifestyle. I am so sad right now, I know I will miss him terriblly and always wonder what if. he was sad too and wishes things were different, but I can't help feeling like I just wasn't enough. I feel unlovable and fear I will be alone forever.

Answer:
I wish I had something uplifting to reply, but I don't. I do know exactly how you feel though. The one guy I've dated since being diagnosed almost a year ago put the brakes on hard after I told him, and then just kind of drifted away. I was so sad, and still am.

It's hard to be a grown-up and not do anything more than kiss. Which poses the question - when the hell are we supposed to tell? On the second date? If you tell too soon then you scare him away and if you tell once there's emotional investment then it hurts even more if he leaves. And in the meantime how do I explain why I won't let him touch me after a month or more? I can't pretend I'm always on my period.

I'm so picky about the quality of guy that I'm interested in that I hardly ever dated before H and figured I'd probably end up alone. Now I'm certain I'll end up alone. I don't even see the point of trying to date. I won't go to H-dating sites...that would make me feel like I'm not good enough for the general public or something.

I've just been feeling really alone lately and your post brought a lump to my throat. I know how you feel.

Michelle

Answer:
I am also very picky about who I like and date. I'm not into loosers. befor herpes or without it I feel like I could have had any guy I wanted, I'm attractive, hard working and funny but none of that matters when you have herpes. I feel like I am this disease because that is what the world tells me. I feel like no decent guy will like me and I don't want to settle for someone I don't love or respect. I feel like no decent man will ever want me because I am not good enough for them. I probably sound like I am having a pity party for myself and I acctually am. I have tried to be optomistic for so long but reality has set in and I feel like I should just give up.

Answer:
:cry: you guyz are scaring me!!! :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

Answer:
Cheer up people, there's hope out there. Just wish the lil' thing I was / am interested in shared the feelings that you do chaos!! She justed turned on me and wants nothing to do with me because she did not allow herself the chance to get to know me. :cry: One last ditch effort on my part coming up soon, probably won't do any good but hey, WTH? Just hope she eventually sees the wrongs of her ways with or without me in her life, before it's too late. :(

Answer:
oo

Answer:
When you love a woman who has GH (I do not have GH) and she pushes you away because of fear, you almost wish you had it so you could make the relationship work. Her biggest fear is that she will infect me. I have probably lost her for this. I do believe she would prefer to find someone who has GH, which means I lose. Furthermore, I have thought about going to GH dating websites. My theory is that I am more likely to find a woman in this environment who is really special and available.

Answer:
why can't I find a guy like you?

Answer:
At age 48 the number of women who are available and compatible is small. Something like GH is of little concern if everything else fits. Plus, she has lived with GH for more than 20 years. Her outbreaks are infrequent and mild. She has learned how to manage it and she knows how to anticipate outbreaks if they occur. I trust her implicitly to do everything in her power to prevent passing it to me. But it is a risk I am happy to take in exchange for a lifetime with her. But she can't accept this.