Question:
when i was diagnosed with herpes i was back in a relationship with my boyfriend after six months break. during that break, i thought i wasn't going back to the relationship and began a single girls life where i felt very attractive, powerful and above all extremely happy, herpes was my downfall. nowdays, if i think i guy likes me when i'm in a conversation with one, i cant help but think of how there feelings would change if they knew what i had, i've lost my sexuality. can anyone relate or has similar thoughts?

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thank you for replying bendavis. i appreciate it. looking back at the post of wrote i might be coming of as vain but i don't mean it to sound like that, i definitely don't think i'm very attractive, probably just pretty, but i did feel attractive to men, like i had a good chance (and some power over getting a guy i was interested in) in the dating pool. i hope i've explained myself better, anyway, looking at how many posts i've written in this joint i probably way to consumed with this virus after having it for a year, but the thought of it doesn't seem to go away, the circumstances of my life when i was diagnosed weren't too pretty and i don't know what to do sometimes, i feel like god dealt me some ugly cards, anyway, cherrio, jan

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123- Dont apologize for stating you are an attractive powerful woman, you are. Being attractive isnt all about beauty anyway. I feel youre situation and was and am in a quite similar one. I felt the power of being an attractive, young prospect on the dating scene after a breakup from a bad relationship and entering my first year of college. I guess I went a little out of control and ended up contracting the disease although I dont even know how or from who. I also know how you feel about it comsuming my life. Its been almost 2 years since I contracted it and I am still just trying to deal with the fact that I have it. thats why im here. When I first got it, I went to my doctor about my total loss of sexual appetite and it was revealed to me (although it was painfully obvious) that the reason was because of my pain from contracting H. So my doctor put me on anti depressants. It didnt help me cope, it just delayed my healing process and made me put my growth on hold for almost a year. To make matters worse Im in the midst of breaking up with the only person besides my mother who knows and the idea of having to tell someone else is horrifying to me. Well I just wanted to share some my similar situation and tell you that you should never feel the need to apologize for being a powerful and confident woman, you should take pride in it, and even since then, although we both have had difficult obstacles placed in our way, we cant let it tell us that we arent still attractive, powerful, happy people.

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I know the original message was posted a little while ago but I figured I would reply. I was just diagnosed 3 days ago with H2 and felt I had to tell the guy I have been dating for about 2 months. I was afraid to tell, but thankfully he responded more positively than I could have imagined. He said it is going to take more than this to get rid of him. The night after he found out he was in some what of a touchy-feely mood but I just felt disgusted. I didn't want to be touched!!! I was thinking to myself "How does he still want to touch me in this way!" Like you I used to feel like an attractive person and that I had many things to offer. I still do somewhat but not so much. It's as if the diagnosis of H2 outweighs all of the accomplishments and positive things in my life right now. I also noticed a couple of guys lookin' at me today and started to think what they would do if they knew what I had; would they still be looking at me in the same way. That seems to be the thought constantly running through my head today "What will people think of me when I tell them?" I dread having to tell someone else if my boyfriend and I break up.

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Ok so I actually did it! I told the guy im dating now about it and although he took it very well, its still really hard for me to deal with the fact that he knows. when i first told him i was really just worried he would run, but he said "it doesnt make me want to stop dating u" BUT hes still really nervous about sex and although we talked about it and made out since then, he stopped trying to do more stuff. I KNOW its only been like a week since he found out and he just needs some time to get used to it but... it kills me that hes so scared. i am too. Grad05- I have been going through the same thing and still am, 2 years later. u just have to realize, and i have to keep telling myself, that we deserve to be loved to. when i think about how people would view me if they knew, all it does it hack at my confidence and make me feel like less than everyone else, when in reality, almost 1/2 the people ur looking at and thinking will look down on u, HAVE IT TOO!!! they say 2 out of 5. just keep reminding urself too. And Ben- probably more good chicks than u know deal with the same thing u r. so keep ur head up too!!! Good Luck guys! Holla back!

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i can totally relate to the sexuality/sensuality issue. i didnt have sex for a year. most of that year, i felt like my sensuality was taken from me...would i ever get it back? but its come back. even though i had an outbreak last week, i felt emotionally different this time around. not as bad about myself. i just figure...i dont "need" a relationship to make me happy...im already happy, so if someone doesnt want to be with me because of this...no big deal. im not that invested in needing someone to be in my life. but...i dont think the majority of people really care. i know more people that dont care about it...than people who do...so...who knows?

hang in there though. just dont let this take your power away, and your feminity. it should not define you...

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So my doctor put me on anti depressants. It didnt help me cope, it just delayed my healing process and made me put my growth on hold for almost a year. I was considering going on anti-depressants too but don't want to because of that reason. Are you still on them?