Question:
I met this great guy, he's 43 yrs old and I am 31-year old single mother. We met about two months and half ago and just last night we had intercourse. I have been with H for almost 7 years now. I really like this guy and he seems to like me a lot as well, and has shown a lot of interest, but I am so scared that we were together and did not use any protection. I have not had an outbreak in awhile. I did not even think about telling him since we are just begining to date, but I feel very guilty and so bad that I got sexually involved and did not tellm him before. I think that I should have told him, but then thought it was too early, and again now I think that we got sexually involved too early as well. I am so worry now about transmitting it to him. I won't seen him again for about three weeks, but we'll be talking on the phone during this time. I don't know how I should tell him, I am scared that he takes it really bad and think that I lied or was not honest with him. I come from a religious family with high values and this to me has been the worst nightmare and biggest secret since I have only told to the relationships I have been in since I became infected. With this guy I feel that we can have a future together, he is very good with my son and is a very mature guy, but even so I think I don't know him very well to predict how he will react to something like this. I don't even know how to approach him on this topic since we already had intercourse. I won't feel good with myself until I get this out of my system and have told him. I would not have any more intercourse. Please, need some advise as to what I should do, now that I think I am a little late to regret what I have done. I do want to be honest, and don't want to keep on going until he knows, after that then we can either go on with the relationship or if he decides that he does not want anything to do with me, at least I told him, but I will feel devastaded because I feel he could be a good guy and great partner.

Answer:
i see that you posted a month ago but i'm in the same boat and i saw no one replied. tell him as soon as possible. the longer you let him believe something that isn't true, the more he will be hurt when you do tell him. chances are, he might never talk to you again, but you are going to have to face that reality sooner or later. even if you spend the rest of your life with this man and he never knows, would that be worth it? at the very least he will still let you be a part of his life in some way. if not, at least you can walk around on this earth knowing that you (finally) did the right thing, and that's worth more than almost anything.

Answer:
oops i see you posted today...i forgot what month it was.

Answer:
it scares me to feel rejected by him as I like him a lot.

Answer:
life, do you think that if you keep it from him for a long time, and he finds out years from now that your relationship won't suffer? especially if he finds out by getting it? why put the both of you through the pain? the fact of the matter is, if you really care about him you should consider him before yourself. wouldn't you want to have the opportunity to make that choice on your own?

Answer:
It's very true what you say. I have been thinking what will be the best way of telling him. He will be gone for 3 weeks until I see him again. I thought about telling him over the phone, but something so serious like this don't think it will be a good idea to say it on the phone. In the mean time I'll be so stressed out thinking about it, that I don't know what to do...

Answer:
I come from a religious family with high values High values? As someone who nearly died from being infected with herpes, I havent any sympathy for you and I havent any advice. I've had plenty of opportunities to do what you did. I never have. I never will. I have "high values" too, but they actually mean something to me. (And I'm an atheist.)

Answer:
to health,

How did you almost die from contracting herpes?

Answer:
I developed meningitis. I was hospitalized, had seizures and I could barely walk for 2 weeks.