Question:
I am sick to my stomach right now. I was planning on coming here this morning and asking for advice on how to tell my wife that I may have exposed her to an STD. This morning however, I couldn't hold it in any longer and after she woke up, I explained to her that I think I may have gotten herpes from having unprotected oral sex with a prostitute about 3 weeks ago. I have a Dr's appointment today, although I don't know if he'll be able to tell me anything. I have symptoms consistent with Herpes, although I have not been doagnosed yet. I also fear the possibility that I may have contracted HIV, although my understanding is that risk is very low when receiving oral sex. I have been with my wife for 20 years and we have 2 beautiful children ages 10 and 5. I really need to talk to someone who has been in my position, or even someone who has been in my wife's position (infected by your husband). I really am feeling very desperate and feel like I have nowhere to turn . Please help.....

Answer:
May have ruined you marriage? I would say that you probably have a lot higher chance than may have. In a committed relationship there needs to be a level trust when condoms are no longer used that one of the partners is not going to be bringing something home.

Unprotected sex with a prostitute.... who does that? I don't understand how someone can put themselves at risk like that then turn around and infect someone they supposedly love. Even if your test come back negative today doesn't mean you don't have HIV and who cares if the risk is low. There is still a risk!! If you are have been married 20 years then you are not a teenager that still believes that it won't happen to them. Hell teenagers are smarter than you.

Answer:
My husband gave me herpes in January when he had a one night stand. He never told me he cheated..i found out when i got sick with it. Then he confessed. I was totally devastated. We have been married for 24 years and I never thought this would happen. We are still together but i'm still mad and don't have the trust i used to with him. The past 5 months have been rough with herpes. I'm on suppression therapy so it has helped me deal with it for now. You did the right thing in telling your wife and not waiting till she comes down with something. She should get tested. Hopefully you can work things out.

Answer:
I realize how incredibly stupid this was, but I am glad I told my wife about it. Any husbands out there that have done a similar thing? I'm really not sure how to proceed with my wife or how best to address the situation now, or if I should just give her space. Princess05, what has your husband done for the last 5 months? I realize you're still mad, but did you consider leaving him?

Answer:
I guess i am still mad because i have to suffer with this disease. He doesn't have outbreaks like me and can go on like it never happened. I did consider leaving him, but i still love him alot and have been with him for a long time. At first i thought i was damaged goods but now i realize that IF we ever broke up i could still find love. I am a very forgiving person and will forgive him but won't forget. He says he wants to help me to forget and is trying to make it up to me. So time will tell. I noticed that your screen name has CA in it. I live there too.

Answer:
Well right now she's telling me our relationship is over. She says we can try to put up a front for the sake of our kids, but she's through with me. She says I crossed a line that she can never forgive me for. I am devastated but hoping and praying these feelings will lessen over time. Did you feel the same way about your husband initially and did your feelings change over time? I am in Marin County, CA. I appreciate your help here by the way.

Answer:
Yes i did feel the same way at first. But time has helped some. We were fighting alot at the time it happened so that was my husband's excuse. We just weren't communicating enough but after all this we are. Its just too bad it took this to make us talk more. And sex wasn't the issue..he had plenty of that from me. But hopefully your wife will not give up on you and stay together. I live in Fresno, CA. If your wife ever needs someone to talk to, i would be happy to help.

Answer:
Thank you so much . I feel like you're my only friend right now : > (

Answer:
Awww..no problem. Keep me posted.