Question:
I'm a 27 yr old female, and ever since I was diagnosed with hsv I have completely lost interest in sex, more specifically the opposite sex. It's probably my way of dealing with the fear of rejection, just to shut down completely. But it's confusing my sexual identity. Somehow the possibility of sex with a woman seems less dirty and piggish. I wonder if anyone else here, m or f, has experienced feeling this way, if so what did you do, did it go away, how long did it last?

Answer:
Sex is sex..be it man on man, girl on girl, girl on man..it's still sex. One isnt any dirtier than the other.

Answer:
Thanks for stating the obvious. Next?

Answer:
Well, hopefully it's more common than we think. I'm a guy and the thought of being with another guy is gross to me. When I realized I was pretty sure about what I have I felt kind of bad but not terrible. Then I met a really wonderful woman who I started to fall in love with and she really cared for me. Then I told her what I have (even though it's extremely mild case) and it scared her and she thought it would be better to stay friends. I felt like crap. I cried and I didn't think another woman like her would ever want to be with a guy like me. Anyway I'm trying to get over that. I haven't dated another girl and haven't had a chance to tell a girl again but hopefully someone will love me and want to stay with me.
So, for a while I was feeling bad and didn't think another girl would want me and thought I might as well be gay. I talked to a couple gay guys and there are a lot out there that would like me unfortunately. And I've had some mixed feelings but now I'm over it. The idea is not appealing to me at all.
Women, even though they can be moody at times :), are really so much better than men (from a guy's point of view). I'm sure there's some qualities (hopefully) that you like about men that women just don't have. I know some people are blessed with a long, healthy, and loving relationship and some other people it just doesn't happen for them and I see them sad and I feel bad for them. Sometimes I think I'm being selfish because I really have a good life but I'm not sure if I will deal well with living alone the rest of my life. Hopefully I don't sound desperate or selfish but I just hope someone will accept me and love me for who I am.

Sorry, it's long but I felt I had to say that last part. To answer your question... It lasted a few months, but I'm over it. :)

Hope it helps.

Answer:
This is my first post on this board. I contracted H-virus from my now ex-husband. I haven't had sex since he cheated on me and left me over 3 years ago. Until recently I never wanted to have sex again and was so ashamed to have this. Now I wonder if someday I could go on with my life and have an active sex life again. I think the biggest fear is rejection. I've only told one man - just a friend - that I have this and even he started to treat me differently after he knew. I rarely have outbreaks - maybe one or two a year. I have valtrex just in case. But most of the time I think I'll never feel free to date again. I'll never feel free to have sex again.

Answer:
greenday, thanks for sharing your story. It did make me feel better, and I laughed when I read you thought women are "better" than men, sometimes I gotta agree! I do have this guy who cares about me and doesn't care that I have this, so I guess I'm lucky there, but who knows how long it will last. We have developed an unhealthy pattern of breaking up and getting back together. My feelings have changed about sex, but I don't think to the point where I can't work through them. For sure I think having unprotected sex is completely disgusting, but I guess thats good because it means I'm less likely to give it to anyone. I just wish I had the sense to feel that way before. TR, I totally relate. I think the hardest thing for me is the fact that I myself think STDs are gross. If I were a guy without one I would be completely turned off by such a prospect. A guy has every right to not wanna deal with that, further more he could have many qualities that I look for. How many decent guys does that eliminate? But it's part of who I am now, so I have to accept that and expect that anyone who loves me is going to accept it as well.

Answer:
Thanks for stating the obvious. Next? That was kinda my point. Why would one seem less pigish than the other. Sex isn't pigish, it's people that make it appear that way.
You'll feel better after time, you come to accept it and then you realize how many people actually have herpes. After I was diagnosed I found out several people I knew had it. Including my best friends sister...that kinda floored me. And she is engaged to a man I've known since I was 6 and graduated high school with and he's a wonderfull, honest, NICE LOOKING man. So it just goes to show you that you can find an awesome, kind and loving mate inspite of herpes. Just don't let it get you down. There are worse things. If anything, this just gives you a reason to be more carefull about the people you allow yourself to become close to.