Question:
I found out I have HSV-2 a little over a month ago. My boyfriend of 8 months was tested as well and thankfully does not have it. After thinking for a few weeks he decided that he wants to stay with me anyways. I've had two outbreaks though at the time they occured I didn't know it was herpes because it was so mild but I wanted to go on anti-viral medication to further reduce the risk of transmitting this to my boyfriend. The only problem is that he doesn't want to have sex. I don't understand this. I might have understood more if he decided to end things with me but he did not. He wants to stay together and not have sex anymore, he says it isn't everything. But it hurts me to feel so untouchable. He doesn't know if his adversion to sex is temporary or not and in the meantime I don't know what to do. I love him so much but I don't think I could be with someone who couldn't bring themselves to touch me, herpes or not. Facts, statistics, and precautions haven't eased his mind at all, he says that this is something he needs to work out for himself but this state of limbo, of not knowing if we will remain together or not is painful. Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? Is there hope for our relationship or is he simply afraid and just needs even more time to get over the shock and process the information? A part of me, a very large part, also fears that he is afraid of feeling the pain of going our seperate ways and so he cannot bring himself to totally end our relationship. I've tried talking to him about how I feel, how he feels, and what we can do about it but my last attempt resulted in him saying that he couldn't believe I was trying to convince him to have sex with me. I wouldn't even care about having the virus if it weren't for what it is doing to our relationship. I'm sad and I miss the physical aspect of our relationship. Do I just keep all my feelings so myself and wait for him to decide what to do?

Answer:
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY....AT LEAST U HAVE SOMEONE THAT STILL WANTS TO BE WITH YOU. I UNDERSTAND HOW U MAY FEEL, BUT HERPES IS A HARD PILL FOR ANYONE TO SWALLOW. JUST GIVE HIM SOME TIME, MAYBE HE WILL COME AROUND AND IF NOT THEN U ARE GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE A DESICION ON IF U WANT TO BE IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP. I AM YEARNING FOR A MALE COMPANION-SEX OR NOT ! GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

Answer:
If you didn't have herpes do you think your relationship would be a good one to stay in? With or without herpes is this the right guy for you?

Angela

Answer:
If you didn't have herpes do you think your relationship would be a good one to stay in? With or without herpes is this the right guy for you?

Angela Yes it is, yes he is, that's one of the many things that makes this so hard.

Thanks to those who took the time to read and to those who responded.