Question:
I've had HSV2 for 11 years. I've been dating a new guy for about five weeks and had every intention of disclosing my status to him last night. Unfortunately that's not the way things worked out and I ended up having sex with him instead. I'm on Valtrex in order to prevent transmission and we also used a condom. I'm not too worried that I've passed anything on to him, but I'm very upset with myself that the situation even occurred. I wanted to be open and honest with him and allow him to make an informed decision and instead I messed up what could have been a good relationship. I guess I'm interested in hearing from others who have exercised the same poor judgement and in finding out what is the best way to approach him. In my current state of mind, I feel like calling him crying and telling him what a horrible person I am. I'm sure that is not the best way to handle this situation, but am so consumed with what I've done that I'm not thinking straight.

Answer:
I'm right with you on the whole "being consumed" part. I hate it when herpes becomes "THE" topic. And it ends up getting so inflated that sometimes people can't see past that and look at the whole picture.

How are you doing now? Did you tell him? Thinking about you...

Answer:
I ended up becoming ill and am on antibiotics, so I haven't had a chance to speak to him in person (that's one way to avoid everything I guess). I'll probably end up telling him sometime this week. I'll let you know how it goes...

Answer:
Good luck!

Answer:
good luck! i have hsv 1 and im telling my boyfriend tonight, boy am i nervous! hopefully he will take into consideration i got it from my first time having sex:S good luck with you too

Answer:
I've had HSV2 for 11 years. I've been dating a new guy for about five weeks and had every intention of disclosing my status to him last night. Unfortunately that's not the way things worked out and I ended up having sex with him instead. I'm on Valtrex in order to prevent transmission and we also used a condom. I'm not too worried that I've passed anything on to him, but I'm very upset with myself that the situation even occurred. I wanted to be open and honest with him and allow him to make an informed decision and instead I messed up what could have been a good relationship. I guess I'm interested in hearing from others who have exercised the same poor judgement and in finding out what is the best way to approach him. In my current state of mind, I feel like calling him crying and telling him what a horrible person I am. I'm sure that is not the best way to handle this situation, but am so consumed with what I've done that I'm not thinking straight. i was recently in a similar situation to yours, however, i was on the receiving end. i was dating a girl who has herpes and was on Valtrex. She didnt think it was worth mentioning until after we had unprotected sex. well, as luck would have it, she passed it to me on that night. my relationship ended with this girl recently and the only thing i have to remember her by is the virus she gave me. This is by far the worst experience of my life. This is going to sound harsh, but you should be ashamed of yourself for having sex with him without telling him. He deserves the choice. This disease is not life-threatening, but its life-alterating. The longer you wait, the worse he is going to take it.