Question:
Hi I am a 23 year old male and have been dating a 25 year old female. We have been dating for 6 months and she just told me she has herpes. She was given the virus about 10 years ago. She takes valtrex and has not had an outbreak in 8 years. I really love this woman and we have been talking about marriage. I understand why she waited so long to tell me because of all of the rejection in her life. I dont have the heart to just turn away from her and I am not sure what to do. Can anybody please help me or tell me about their experiences with this same matter.

Answer:
:arrow: Here's Our Herpes Telling Story

:arrow: Here's My Herpes Biography

Hope this helps,

Angela :D

Answer:
I am not sure what the problem is... you have been with her 6 months... you love her... this doesn't define her or change who she is... if you are having sex already than the risk has already occurred... I don't know.... love her.. then get over it...

sorry if it is harsh... but to me love overcomes this...

Answer:
chevyyamaha,

I'm a 56-year-old widower, so my advice may not totally apply, but here goes. I am persuing marriage with an infected woman, because she is wonderful, and I love her very much. She told me about her Herpes the first time we met. Her honesty and her pain about it helped to capture my heart. She has lived a very anxious life since she got the disease, with several broken relationships because of it. We are blessed that we found each other!

Now, I have no fear about getting Herpes, because I am 100% sure that I want to marry this woman, and frankly because I'm too old to care about some painful sores. Compared to my painful joints...what's the big deal? Seriously, compared to me, your future is still largely ahead of you. If you are not 100% sure of your intentions, and you are afraid of the disease, you should seriously consider stopping the relationship where it is. If you get herpes, then break the relationship, you are left with limited choices in your life, and you have a long life ahead of you.

That said, from your words, I hear compassion and love towards your lady, and I resonate with that. And I encourage you to follow your heart, and not your fears. It took a lot of courage for your lady to tell you even after all this time. It will take that kind of courage from both of you to continue. I'll say a prayer for the two of you!

Mike

Answer:
If your lady uses suppressive therapy and you use condoms, avoid intercourse during prodrome or outbreak, your risk of contracting the virus is about 2% per year - pretty reasonable odds. Many couples live together for many years with the negative partner remaining negative. The longer a person has had HSV-2, the less the virus sheds. Since she has lived with herpes for eight years, your odds of NOT contracting are quite good if you follow the recommendations. Best wishes to you both. Never let something so small interfere with your opportunity for love.

To look at it another way, 1 in 5 people have HSV-2 genitally, but about 90% of those don't know it, because they either have no symptoms or symptoms so slight they are mistaken for "jock itch" or "yeast", etc.. So, if you leave her for someone uninfected, you have a 1 in 4 risk of contracting the virus from someone who doesn't know she carries the virus. And, if you happen to meet one of these women, she isn't doing ANYTHING to protect you because she doesn't even know she has it. Food for thought.