Question:
First off this is a great site, I came here because I met a girl who has H II. This girl is great, beautiful, intelligent, independent, fun all that stuff. But the only problem is she let me go down on her before telling me. She's only had one small outbreak (one pimple thingy she says) in Dec which is how she found out. Anyways, I'm just concerned about my health, I don't want to get this, but she's pretty much everything I've been looking for.

So my question is: everyone says they know if they have it by getting blood tested but my doctor (and some other research I've done) say that just a bloodtest is not conclusive as you can be a false negative or false positive. If that's the case how do I know if I have it already? Or if I've gotten it? I've just been tested and am waiting for results. I've been told the only way to really know is a culture and a blood test.

I hear stories of mixed couples with the other never getting it, but there's always the chance, and sure her outbreak might have been tiny but if I got it mine could be really bad...there's no way to tell. God this sucks, I'm having a hard time getting past this and see her for who she really is, but truth be told...I'm scared.

Answer:
That's a tough thing to decide. I've been on both sides. I decided to continue with an HSVII partner, and eventually got it. The relationship didn't last, but I don't regret the relationship. I decided to continue dating a guy with herpes because he was really great and this was only a really small part of him. Now, I know it is really a small part of me.

Not to put a "whatever" attitude out there and somehow suggest it is okay to pass this around, this is so COMMON that at least knowing is better than the not knowing. I had no idea about herpes until the last TWO people I dated had it. My experience is that myself and other people who have it are more informed and have actually had tests for things, not just this false reassurance that because you haven't had any symptoms and your regular yearly blood tests (which aren't specific STD tests) are fine, you do not have anything.

As with any relationship, you are going to have to take a leap of faith. You just need to protect yourself and have safe sex, and/or focus on the non-sexual parts of your relationship until you are ready. And, you have to live with it if you get it and it doesn't work out. I recently had a guy I was dating back off and move into only friends mode after I told him about my status (it really hurt my feelings and this is definintely an inconvenience to my life, though it has made me more responsible).

As far as the blood test, I have never heard about false negatives/positives. I've had several blood tests before I eventually contracted it. I didn't have a positive test until I had symptoms and they did the culture.

Best of luck to you whatever way you decide!

Answer:
Well, I got Herpes 2 in March - confirmed by a culture. When I had blood tests done in MAy, it came back negative for Herpes 2. My doc said it takes our bodies awhile to have enough ? in the bloodstream for it to come back positive. So, to answer your question. Yes we can have Herpes and blood test negative for it.