Question:
I recently met a guy who has a cold-sore, and so without him saying anything I know that he has oral herpes. We like each other but I refuse to let him kiss my lips and I haven't told him why or asked about his cold-sore for fear of offending him. He has kissed my neck, fingers, and I believe my cheek as well- is it possible for me to get herpes from that? After he left that evening I immedately washed my face neck and hands with soap and hot water and made sure i did not touch my eyes, nose, or mouth before doing so. Is it possible that I could get herpes?

Thank you!

Answer:
I was diagnosed with Type 2 herpes two weeks ago. I went on Valtrex for 10 days and my sores healed very quickly. My partner gave me the STD, so he has it too. We had sex for the first time yesterday, and now I feel sore down below. I don't know if it's from friction because we had abstained for so long of if it has opened up a sore that I thought had healed. I'm very concerned and confused.

Answer:
Screw his tender sensibilities...tell him in the nicest manner that you can that you do NOT have herpes simplex 1 (ie COLDSORES) and that you do not want to kiss him while he has an active/healing sore. He should respect that and he should NOT be kissing you.....although herpes 1 does like to hang out around the mouth, it has been known to show up elsewhere, like the eyes, the nose, the cheeks , the neck, etc. You are especially suspetible if you are one of the few people in the world who does NOT have hsv1.


Perhaps he, along with the vast majority of the world who have herpes 1, doesn't realize that coldsores and herpes are the same damn thing. Since we have given herpes 1 another name, it suddenly isn't as scary as GENITAL herpes. (maybe we should give this another name too, so we are not treated like lepers.)

But tell him nicely and honestly that you do not want any smooching of any kind until this thing heals. If he can't understand that or gets snotty about it, then maybe you should rethink dating him. I would NEVER put my lips on someone during an outbreak. yuk for THEM and yuk for me.

Answer:
i would tell him no... find out about herpes before you do anything.

Answer:
I recently met a guy who has a cold-sore, and so without him saying anything I know that he has oral herpes. We like each other but I refuse to let him kiss my lips and I haven't told him why or asked about his cold-sore for fear of offending him. He has kissed my neck, fingers, and I believe my cheek as well- is it possible for me to get herpes from that? After he left that evening I immedately washed my face neck and hands with soap and hot water and made sure i did not touch my eyes, nose, or mouth before doing so. Is it possible that I could get herpes?

Thank you! Hi Hawaiigrl,

Don't let him kiss you on the lips. But to make it safer, I would just hold off on having opportunities that lead to ANY kissing, because well, when it gets hot and heavy, sometimes you don't think with your head.

Kissing your neck, fingers, and cheeks are most likely NOT going to give you herpes there, unless you had open cuts or any breaks on your skin there. Learn more about HSV1 before you do anything more with this guy. You might want to consider asking him when he got HSV1. If he's had it for a while (say childhood), when he doesn't have a cold sore, it could be low risk for transmission, so it's not like you'll never be able to kiss him. Get read up though, so you know what you're getting into.

One tip I'll throw out there, if you two ever have oral sex, do NOT let him give you oral sex, there is a chance he can give you genital herpes.

Answer:
I was diagnosed with Type 2 herpes two weeks ago. I went on Valtrex for 10 days and my sores healed very quickly. My partner gave me the STD, so he has it too. We had sex for the first time yesterday, and now I feel sore down below. I don't know if it's from friction because we had abstained for so long of if it has opened up a sore that I thought had healed. I'm very concerned and confused. If you got HSV2 recently, the soreness could just be a side-product of the primary infection. In general though, it's recommended that you don't have sex during outbreaks (it sounds like you were outbreak-free at the time though).

What I'm going to say now might be out of line for me, but if he KNOWINGLY gave you HSV2, you really should reconsider this relationship of yours. And you should both get a full STD screen before any more sexual activity. Good luck!