Question:
My girlfriend and I have been regularly kissing each other since we started seeing each other. After about a month and a half into our relationship, my girlfriend just told me she has type 1 herpes on her mouth. She told me that she hasn't had an outbreak in years, but I've read that herpes can be spread at any time, even if there are no signs of an outbreak. Should I be mad that she didn't tell me until now? I know HSV-1 is extremely common and symptoms rarely occur in most people, so I've been trying to play it off as nothing major, but honestly, I've never dealt with this sort of thing before and I'm a little scared. I'm afraid that maybe I'm getting worried over something incredibly minor, and I'm just blowing things out of proportion. Am I making too big a deal out of this? I have had no signs of an outbreak, so how do I know if I've been infected? I care about my girlfriend, and do not want to simply stop kissing her, so what sort of precausions should I take to prevent being infected if I have not been already?

Answer:
some 60% of people have Cold sores or Oral herpies. It's generally a minor disease but can spread to the genitals in some cases. Just make sure that you hold off on the oral stuff if she has an outbreak. Otherwise, you should be fine.

Answer:
it would of taken her a hell of alot of guts telling you so appreciate that if you can , its the hardest thing to do

Answer:
I hate to say this, but you can get HSV-1 genitally without a cold sore being present on your partner.

That's how I got it :(

Answer:
It was her responsibility to tell you, and she didn't. She didn't give you the opportunity to decide if you wanted to contract the disease, she made the decision for you.

And people like that are the reason many of us suffer from this virus.

I'm not trying to sound harsh, but once you're diagnosed you have a moral obligation to be truthful from then on out. I have HSV-2 and I could never imagine sleeping with someone and not telling them I had the virus. The guilt alone would kill me.

Answer:
I guess it was the way I was raised, but things were covered up or ignored when I was growing up, and HSV was one of those things. My whole family has it, my mother gave it to us all as kids! Lol! So I never thought it was a big deal, in fact I thought it was normal and that everyone had it. To my knowledge I never gave HSV-1 to anyone, even in one of my longest romances, lasted for more than 3 years and we did everything. I’m in my 40’s and HSV-1 is such a non-issue, it always has been really. Seeing people talk about HSV-1 like this seems strange to me, playing it down is probably not a good thing, so maybe I’m not the best one to give advice on this particular infection.

Answer:
I know, I have had hsv1 for years as well, got it as a kid, and to my knowledge never passed it onto anyone else. When I was married I use to perform oral on my ex all the time, he never contracted it from me, nor did he get cold sores on his mouth. I knew the signs of an outbreak and just abstained from kissing and whatnot during any prodommal symptoms as well as during an active outbreak. Otherwise, I didn't give it a second thought. As I have gotten older, hsv1/coldsores have been much easier to work with/deal with etc. I think educating ourselves about it and being REALISTIC is key to prevention. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world who think a coldsore is "no big deal" and not herpes at all. Meanwhile, these same delusionoids are going around kissing me, you and our children. Believe me, I have put the smack down on many folks (metaphysically speaking) who have tried to kiss my children, especially if I noticed any tell-tale sign of a cold sore. Does that make me mean, cruel and a bitch? I really don't give a shit, my kids' health is more important to me than someones tender sensibilities. But I digress...................... I think it is this sort of in denial attitude that spreads coldsores as well as spread it genitally. (oh it is just a cold sore, no big deal.)

Genital herpes, THAT is a whole different ball of wax. Just due to pure physicality (meaning being a woman) makes it much more difficult to work with. Whereas you mouth and face are RIGHT there and I can clear up a potential hsv1 outbreak almost immediately, I can't say the same for hsv2.

Answer:
One person's feelings vs another person's catching a permanent contagious disease. Think about that.

What was your girlfriend's intent? Think about that real hard.

She knew she had HSV.

She knew HSV was serious enough to warn you, but not until after she exposed you.

She INTENTionally witheld her HSV status until after she exposed you.

She intentionally exposed you WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT.

I'm not saying we should brand "HERPES" on foreheads. But it does say a lot whenever I hear yet another story about the person who waited until JUST AFTER exposing the other to herpes that they THEN come out and reveal that they are HSV+. That is the epitome of selfishness. You have a right to be informed (and thus chose consent) of what others are knowingly exposing you to -they do not have a right to expose you against your will.

Only you can decide if HSV is a big deal and if your girlfriend did the wrong thing by not telling you before kissing you. For some people it isn't, for some people it's everything. Chances are you will not be with this girl forever - did she change you future prospects with other women? The important thing is that *YOU* should make that choice, not the person who gives you HSV and makes the choice for you. Could you make that choice for other females in your life and pass HSV on to them? Could you live with yourself if you knowingly passed HSV on to a female and risked her future children's health? There's a chance you already have HSV1 and/or HSV2, and even had it before you met your girlfriend. Have you been tested? To know for sure if you have HSV you need to wait for a sore to show up or wait months for antibodies to show up in your blood, abstain from any contact and have your prospective partner do the same. Then do the same whenever you change partners. Not very practical is it? Chances are you will catch HSV at some point in the future, if you go by statistics. The biggest moral question? If YOU become HSV+, what will you do in a similar situation as your girlfriend? You will likely be with other females in life. Will you tell each of them, right before that first kiss, that you have now herpes?

Some people are horrified that they might get herpes, but once they do get herpes it becomes no big deal and out of their control when concerning others. Think about that, and what that means.

Answer:
ok, i think everyone is severely overreacting to an oral hsv1 infection...EVERYONE has hsv1, its just the facts, i have never once thought to tell someone that i've had coldsores before...i just assumed everyone had and if you hadn't, then you were immune...i think everyone in the entire world has been exposed at this point... hsv2 however... that might make me single forever just so i don't have to tell anyone... which makes me wonder why one type of herpes has such a different stigma than another... it sucks actually...